45.0 Go Through The Pain. Don’t Give Up Buddies...

When I was studying for a Master’s degree, most of the students were in the tired mode in the lectures. Some of them slept well. There was one lecturer who cared about us a lot. He understood our tiredness while some other lecturers ignored it as they also didn't have an option. 

One lecturer taught some theory concepts via the videos. One video went for about ten minutes, and at that time he used to sit in the last rows. At that time, I took a break and did not watch the video. I used to listen in by closing my eyes and covered my forehead area via a hand.

A few lecturers want our active participation in the lectures. So, one of the lecturers arranged some group activities and asked questions. One day he asked us to explain a work incident related to conflict management with the actions we took to resolve it. I did not want to put any effort into anything which did not use to evaluate us. I did not put my effort to say a word even if it did not belong to the evaluation of our program. I was tired. Lol...

Most of the weekdays were very tired for me because of office hours, lectures, and restless weekends. Therefore, I could not focus on studies at night after completing all those main tasks. Most of the time I went to the office like a zombie. I could say that I have dragged to the office and I did not go there.

One day one of my office friends came to my seat and talked about some friendly things with me. After a few minutes, he said 'Shall I ask something? As I agreed he asked 'Are you suffering from any problem? I have noticed your behavior for some time, and it was not normal. I could see some sort of fear on your face. What is the reason behind this situation? At that time, I wanted to laugh and I did not have a proper answer to give him. I thought that he won't believe if I told the truth 'Exam pressure because of the way he talked to me. However, I told about exams and assignments including my bad health.

However, I knew that he did not believe me. He suggested healthy foods and exercises as some options. Later on, I thought that there could be such an alien look on my face when thinking about that pressurize environment I lived with workload and studies. So, his observation was correct. Why do you have fear on your face??? That was a marvelous question. Lol...

Actually, health also not in good condition. Though I had separate Vitamins also there was a pain in the whole body because of an unknown reason. From time to time I have attacked by fever and cold on top of that pain. So, I could say that it was an endless pain. I could not get rid of the cold.  

Not only me, most of the students pressurized because of their busy schedules. Apart from all, most of us were suffering from various illnesses. I think tiredness was the main reason for us to be the victim of most of the diseases. Some of them left their jobs as well. I left my job after going through these main hurdles. As I said earlier still, some questions don't have proper answers. Lol...

The mid-semester consists of both exams and assignments. There was no enough gap in between some exam days and assignment deadlines. Therefore, I took study leaves for eight working days, I think. When I was staying at my uncle's home, some people saw me at that time, though I lived there for a long time period. So, one uncle saw me and he asked about my studies. 

He said that one of his relative daughters was looking after her kids by staying at home though she is MSc holder. I think he tried to say that my destiny also will be the same as his relative. Though I wanted to slap him, I listened to his story, peacefully without any response. I think if I told him something at that time, he would be an enemy now. Lol...

After studying for a few days, I felt that the desk was not in the correct location in the room and lighting was not enough for studies. Therefore, I moved my desk from time to time and it was in three to four different locations in the room. Our housemaid asked 'why did you move it to the previous location if it was not good for you earlier. I did not have an answer actually, though I wanted to say that 'Shut up... I'm going crazy...

Actually, I don't know the exact reason for that much pressure, and it was similar for most of the students. Some of them had junk foods like nothing during this time, and most of the boys used to drink energy drinks. 

One of my friends had some tablets that recommended for athletics to keep them awake. One day once I sat for the exam, I saw that one of our lecturers was sitting in the exam hall. But it was a blurred scene, and on that day, I got to know about my eye vision.

Though I had my Tea, breakfast, lunch, and snacks before the exam, I had a bottle of soft drink just a few minutes before the exam. I used to have it before going to the exam hall. I did it as a practice for entire exams. As I mentioned earlier, there were many questions without answers during this period. There were plenty of abnormal behaviors. Lol…

However, though it was a hectic and ridiculous time, I know that it always gave benefits to me. So, I could say that the tough past is like an investment in our lives where we can take harvest later.

So, go through the pain buddies… Don’t give up.

  

44.0 Why Do We Need Motivation For Our Lives?

What kind of memories you have about 'Exams?' Do you love exams? Not much, right? It depends. I have very few friends who wanted that exam pressure. 

I guess that the majority do not like to attend the exams though it is always beneficial for us. If you think about your job status, I think the reason for you to go with that status is the exams you passed apart from the working experience you have. So, we should respect the exams. Lol...

By the way, what was the main helper for you when you were preparing for exams? It's 'Google for me. Absolutely 'Google was my best friend for me to resolve any questions I had in exam eras. Apart from the questions, it helped me to reduce stress, depression, anxiety, anger, and all during the exam era. So, once I wanted a change 'google was the friend who supported me to find out my favorite songs and videos. The help I had during my Masters's was precious and unmeasurable.

I used to listen to the same four to five movie video songs when I was preparing for a Masters Degree. Actually, it could give me courage or a kick to energize my studies when I was fed up with assignments and all. But, still, I don't know the reason for selecting the same set of songs. 

Sometimes, my brain did not have enough capacity to think about it anymore. So, those days I stayed at my uncle's (father’s elder brother) home as I was 9 - 6 office workers. I had to find out time for exam preparation and assignments of Masters at night. Most of the time, it started at 9.30 p.m. and continued till 1 to 2 a.m. I could say that it was a horrible time for me. After 12, I used to listen to my favorite songs set. Most of the time my uncle came to visit me and at that time I was watching a video song. Not working on studies. However, he did not ask anything about my hobby, and, he asked me to sleep.

Few songs of 'Chennai Express' movie were on my list. I'm taking this opportunity to thank ‘Sharuk Khan and ‘Deepika Padukone who was the main actor and actress of that movie. So, this movie and its songs always reminded my Masters's era. Lol... However, I watched many Hindi movie songs by ‘Sharuk and ‘Deepika in this era. 


Especially when there was a group of people in a video song, I watched the same for two to three times to watch the actions of a different set of people. I enjoyed the dance of supporting dancers apart from the main actor and actress. The thing was I allocated two different times to focus on the key roles and sub-roles. Is that the way that you are also enjoying a song with a video? It was my way. Lol...

Apart from them, I listened to Sinhala songs of 'Amaradewa, 'Victor Rathnayake, 'Karunarathne Divulgane and 'Nanda Malini. Those songs were in my classical songs list. 

So, the next big thanks go to these giant artists. I could say that listening to their songs was like meditation. Apart from those Sinhala classical songs, 'Sari Pote' song of 'Yureni Noshika was another video I watched during this time. It was also a kind of video that can energize me, I think. In that video, I loved to see the actions of 'Tennison Kooray as well.

Sometimes I listened to songs of new artists as well. Sometimes I wanted to listen to 'Bus songs. There is such a song category in Sri Lanka. Lol... Such songs can hear in most of the private buses and that was the reason for that category. Though there was no taste at all I listened to those as well. I don't know why actually. Lol... However, the songs I selected could analyze the different mental statuses I had those days.

Though I worked till midnight for these exams and assignments, I could say that it was not effective at all. Sometimes I spent three to four hours without a reasonable outcome. I could think and write five to ten lines when I was working on assignments and when rereading the same on the following day, I blamed myself. 

The written content was useless, and it was another rework. Sometimes I just watched on the computer screen without doing nothing, and the worst thing was it took a reasonable time for me to realize that idle time. It was a weird behavior. Like my advanced level exam, I did not consume any food or drink at night studies. It was also a question without an answer. I did not want to have any snack or drink after dinner. I don't know why?

Finally, I tried to schedule my studies in the early morning, and it did not work at all. I just snoozed the alarm and slept. Our lectures also scheduled at night after office hours and it went till 9 p.m. on weekdays. There were three-night classes per week. One of my friends said that we should work on studies on the same day after each lecture. However, it was beyond my capacity and I could not do that though his idea was an effective one.

As nothing worked for me, I decided to allocate the entire weekends for studies, and it worked well for me. However, I could not spend time with my family during the weekends even. 

So, my father always asked 'Do all of your friends work on studies like this? As per my knowledge, the situation of others also the same as me. Therefore, always my answer was 'Yes and I took some friends as examples as well. The same thing happened to my other friends as well. Their spouses always questioned their work. One of my friend's wife said that she also worked on exams and assignments, but she never was in such a pain. Most of the time they did not argue with their spouses as it consumed additional time. Lol...

As our program tightly stuck to one year, they did not understand the workload and time schedules as most of them did a two-year program. So always they thought that there was something wrong with us. Actually, I could say that they could not bear up the pain we had. I think for a one-year time period they missed their loved ones. However, I should really appreciate the support and patience of our families.

43.0 Let's Enjoy A Fruit Juice With Zero Sugar My Friends

I would like to put a note about 'fruit juice. I would like to offer my gratitude to one of my favorite drinks via this post. As well as this is a lovely gift for all fruit juice lovers around the world.

 

Actually, I did not use to drink fruit juice regularly in my school days and the higher studies era. I could say that I addicted to drink fruit juice because of the evening walk that scheduled two to three days per week after the office. It has totally stopped now as I'm not an office employee anymore. But still, that evening walk is on my schedule. 

I cannot remember the exact day I started drinking fruit juice. However, some fruit juice shops located on the route I used for my evening walk impressed me to have fruit juice. Plus, the thirsty I had after walking a few miles could be another reason. Somehow, I had a nice glass of fruit juice. A big glass of juice.

Most of the time I had Avocado juice and I switched to some other fruits if they did not have Avocado only. So, I did not need to order the juice type as they knew my choice. They asked me to order something if they did not have my favorite. As I used to have an Avocado smoothie with yogurt, sometimes they asked my preference. Otherwise, I just sat and waited for my juice if I wanted to have a normal one. Both parties had that mutual understanding.

That ordering mechanism was a relief for me, especially after office hours. After giving and receiving instructions for about nine hours, their understanding made me happy. I did not want to put an effort to have my drink except money. So, all those reasons dragged me there. I was like an ant, I think. Lol...

There were three shops and, most of the time I went to one shop because of the quality of the juice. As well as it's located on the route I used. One young boy was there. He managed that shop by preparing and serving fruit juice to the customers. As it was not a much-crowded place, he could manage his customers without the support of others. The location of that shop would be a reason for fewer customers, I think. But there were a few offices near the main road and they were regular customers. Though they did not visit the place, they ordered fruit juice and these guys delivered to them. That shop was famous among many because of its better quality.

They did not cheat their customers. For my drink, they prepared one glass using one Avocado and did not mix water much. Therefore, the required thickness was there, and it made a quality juice. After instructing the required sugar level for a few days, he knew the sugar preference also. He could remember the preferences of each customer and I think it's his capability. One day he said that 'Miss, I did not put sugar at all for your drink though I put some sugar for your friend. My cousin's sister also a regular customer. Once we went there, he thought that we were friends.

I did not drink Avocado with yogurt regularly. I felt sleepy after drinking it, and I did not want to walk anymore. One of my friends said that there won't be any progress in my exercises because of this fruit juice. 

She said that it would add more calories than burnt calories. Lol… However, I did not forget my Avocado juice. Even after the walk, I had a very light diet for dinner once I had that yogurt smoothie. It was that much heavy drink. However, it is a very nutritious drink.  Especially it is good food for vegetarian people like me. They can gain enough protein via Avocado and yogurt.

You know, one-day everything got changed by proving the uncertainty of everything. As usual, I went to my favorite shop to have my Avocado drink. Everything was happening as usual except for one thing which could change the view of my Avocado drink. 

At that time, I was enjoying my drink by reading a magazine which kept on my table, and my fruit juice friend started cleaning the stuff he used for juice preparation. I think I was the last customer on that day according to the time. Therefore, he arranged things to close the shop. He cleaned the jugs and glasses and kept them in a cupboard. He kept some additional fruits in the fridge. Finally, he took the blender to clean. First, he washed it with water and put some dish wash liquid to clean. Then he took a toothbrush and brushed the inside. It was a very unpleasant scene for me and at that time I almost finished my drink. I could not drink the last portion.

I wanted to vomit the entire drink. I started to think that he was not using someone's brush. As it is easy to clean the inside via a toothbrush, it might be his choice. So, I quickly made the payment and left. When I was telling the same with my cousin, she also said that he won't use a used toothbrush. However, after that incident, I could not drink juice from that shop anymore. I stopped drinking fruit juice for a couple of months. I did not go to any shop.

After resetting my mind, I went to another shop to have fruit juice. From the time I went there, I tried to observe the things available in their tables. There were jugs, glasses, sugar, ice, fruits, yogurts, soap, dishwasher, brushes and all. 

But I could not see any toothbrush. I checked near the blender as well. Finally, it was not there. So, I had the drink but I could not have it peacefully. It brought millions of doubts to my mind. Though it was not a nice one like my previous place, I went to that shop for my evening walk drink.

Everything was fine except the owner of that shop. He wanted to know every silly personal detail. I would give him a filled KYC (Know your customer) form as a bank customer. 

As it was an annoying thing to have a chat with him, and most of the times I shared the wrong information with him, later on, I choose another shop. There were a few girls in that shop to prepare fruit juice and sometimes the owner also joined with them. Most of the times he took the duty once those girls finished their duty and left. The quality of their fruit juice was good. But most of the time, my choice 'Avocado was not there. However, I went to that shop.

One day I met that fruit juice guy (Mr. Toothbrush) and he said that he did not see me for a long time. He asked why I did not come to have fruit juice. I wanted to say 'please don't use a toothbrush to clean the blender. But I told him that I'm working on a new office and using another route to come back. Lol…

By the way, what is your favorite fruit? Avocado? Great... I added you to my friends' list. However, try to have it with less/zero sugar buddy. 

42.0 Be Smart To Manage Your Thoughts.

As I told you some horror movies not horror movies for us, especially when all of us cousins watched it. Actually, it was enough to have one cousin and not required the participation of all. Most of the times my father's elder brother's daughter was my movie partner. Her husband also joined us when there was a movie that was in the preferred category of three of us.
 

So, if he did not like we two went to the movie theatre. One day we went to watch 'Dracula movie. It was one of the very first versions, I guess. Somehow, it showed in the movie theaters in Sri Lanka. We two idiots also wanted to watch that movie for an unknown reason. Lol... We watched the 7.30 p.m. movie after leaving the office. However, the movie hall was not crowded and, there were many free seats.

As one of my friends said, it was not a scary one except only one thing. Though it was the only scary thing I could not forget it for a long time. As you know 'Dracula was the reason for the death of many young girls. But their deaths did not bring sorrow or fear for us. Some deaths and rebirths made us laugh. Lol... However, that scene was a terrific one. 

In that scene when one girl was standing in front of the mirror, 'Dracula appeared suddenly and hugged her crazily. That sudden appearance of 'Dracula made me crazy and it increased my heartbeat as well. In some situations, we could imagine the next scene as per our movie experiences. But here this was a totally unexpected scene for me. So, I excited and it scared me a lot.

  

However, it was the only thing that I can remember. I could not remember the entire story of the movie. So, once it's finished, we two came out and took the lift to go down. There were a few boys who came out after watching the movie. 

On the way to the ground floor, we two laughed for some movie scenes. At that time, one boy saw my weird tooth, which adjusted as 'Dracula's one at the corner of the mouth. Though it was not sharp like 'Dracula's tooth, it highlighted when I was laughing. Not smiling. Lol... So, at that time, he yelled to his friends and said that 'Hey, just now I saw the real 'Dracula's tooth. See, this is the scariest one. It embarrassed me a lot and at that time, my sister also acted as one of their companions. Lol…

In such one night, we went to watch 'Iron Man. On that day, a few of my cousins were there. I could not remember the reason. It was a free movie show and scheduled to start at 9.00 p.m. The organizing committee informed the delay and, asked to stay for an additional hour. Though some of the cousins wanted to go back, the majority wanted to watch the movie. 

Finally, it started at 10.30 p.m. and finished around 12.30 a.m. As it was our cousins' crowd, parents did not follow us. At the time when we were finishing it, all of us were very tired as all of us came after office hours. So, we wanted to go back home quickly. The very few who did not want to watch the movie blamed us by remembering their next work schedules. Therefore, everyone was in different mental statuses. 

When we were going back to the car park, suddenly we saw a couple. They were weird and, both of them wore totally black clothes and, their skin color was very dark. They wore heavy silver jewelry. There was very heavy jewelry in their neck, ear, nose, hand, and legs. They two were like thieves and their behaviors also weird. Their sudden appearance made us laugh and we hardly manage it as they also came with us in the lift. When we went to the car park, we saw their car. It was also a black one. Their appearance brought me to another planet. I felt like that 'Am I on the earth now?. If we had to stay with them for an additional few minutes, definitely that boy would hit all of us. Lol...

However, once I started the journey of being conscious of my own thoughts, the idea I had about movies changed a bit. Actually, I don't know how do you grasp this view. But I would like to explain that view as I think it will help someone. As well as I wanted to say that even though I have not fully aware of my thoughts yet. 

Sometimes I'm daydreaming. Sometimes, I could not manage my thoughts and played the worst scenario. However, I'm trying. I believe that practice will help me on one day to increase the awareness of my own thoughts. You know that when you are looking at someone and observing their behaviors they cannot cheat you. The same thing will be applied to your mind as well. Then it is not dragging you towards the unnecessary thoughts, sorrows, and daydreams. You will be staying in the present moment. You know what does come to your mind, and with that awareness, there won't no space for that thought to build sub thoughts. I think you can imagine this peacefull situation of your mind when you have suffered from overthinking.

As you all know sorrow, fear, anger, and unpleasantness are belonging to sins as those thoughts are not clean things in our minds. So, as we discussed movies here if we take a fight scene as an example, we would like to see the victory of our hero and expect the death of the other one. In such a situation if you can observe your honest thoughts, you can see that how do you expect death or revenge. In that case, our thoughts go towards the anger side. A few years back, that was my status. Sometimes this may be different when compared with you. 

So by unknowingly those thoughts are coming to our mind. We are getting attached to the things and people we saw.  It also contributions to our next egos and at each moment, we are creating our next egos. So, if you think about a movie you watched, it is a collection of all those thoughts. That's why we laugh, cry, and get angry when we were watching a movie. The thing I wanted to tell you here is being aware of your thoughts could make an inner peace. When you know your thoughts, the mind does not let you go towards the anger side and the attraction side.  

However, I know that this is not a clear explanation for you. I could say that I have tried to explain something. If you are a Sri Lankan, you can search 'Abhidharmaya - Ven 'Thiththagalle Anandasiri Thero for more information. Please forgive me if you could not understand. Just forget the last paragraphs and enjoy the rest.

  

41.0 Why Do We Burn Blood By Watching Horror Movies? Y Y Y??

Movie times were always good for us, and it brought joy though we watched a horror movie even. Sometimes I watched movies in a theatre with my friends or cousins and sometimes watched alone via a DVD. However, I do not have the practice to download and watch a movie. 

When I was watching a movie alone, I watched it for a few days, even though there was a happening story. One day one of my office friends gave his movie collection, and after a few days he asked 'did you watch that movie, it is marvelous right? At that time, I have not touched it even. 

So, I said 'no I could not watch it. After another a couple of weekends, he asked how many movies I watched out of that collection. At that time, I could watch half of one story. So, he was fed up with my response and said that no point in sharing it with me. Additionally, he said that it was his most precious collection. He said that he watched two to three movies per day to complete that collection. Recently also, one of my friends asked me to watch the latest movie via a 'BitTorrent. However, I could not do it yet. Lol... But I'm planning to watch 'The lion king and asked one of my friends to watch it once released. I love 'Simba...

When I was working in my former office, I used to walk a few bus halts when coming back after the office. On the way to my uncle's place, there was a small shop which sells movie DVDs. The owner of that shop was an aunt and she could introduce the movie when I was asking the summary. 

So, I used to buy movie DVDs from that shop from time to time. It was nice to have a chat with her as she had excellent skills to summarize the movie. However, that shop moved to another place, and I could not go there as it has not located in my route. So, I forgot to buy the DVDs as well, though there were other places.

A few years back, I loved watching horror movies apart from comedy movies. Most of the time, I watched horror movies with my cousin's sister. We used to go to bed with a snack and watched horror movies. However, I do not want to see blood. I wanted to skip those scenes or watch another one when there were any. But I could hardly get my cousin's approval as she did not like to miss anything. Therefore, I did not watch some scenes, and my cousin's sister informed me once it's over. As we brought some food to our bed most of the time, we could not have a peaceful sleep because of ants.

One day she told me that 'Hey, there are ants it seems. They are eating my back. At that time ants did not reach my body. So, I was very sleepy and asked her to sleep without troubling me. Though she told the same a few times, I slept like a dumb one. Though she got angry with me, I did not respond to her. But after a couple of minutes, they reached and ate me. In that case, I told her that 'Yes, there are some ants. I will change the bedsheet. But at that time, she was sleepy and somehow bore the ants attack. So, she did not want to wake up and change. When she was sleeping, I also could not change the sheet. So, I also had to bear up their attack and later on, we did not bring snacks to our bed.

Most of the horror movies we watched were English movies and one day we watched a Hindi movie. In that case, the main actress had a demon ego in her body. She worked according to the instructions of the ego. The scientific reasons for her mental status showed at the end of the movie as usual. 

Therefore, it was a scary movie. I could rate it as a five-star horror movie out of five. Once it finished, we two went to sleep. At that time, we switched off all the lights as usual. After a few minutes also, we understood that both of them were thinking about that movie as we could not sleep. So, we decided to switch on our table lamp. There were two lights and at that moment only one light was working and it gave a red color light. After going to bed it was scary for me to see my sister's face in that red color background. It was the same for her. 

So, we decided to switch off that light and switch on the room light which gave a bright white color. The entire room was lightened like 12 noon. So, we thought that everything was fine. After a few minutes, my cousin's sister talked to me again and she said that my look was scary as my hair was not combed well. But I did not want to wake up and comb my hair as I was very sleepy. It was midnight. But I had to do so as I could not sleep. It took a few hours for us to arrange a suitable sleeping background after that movie. So, the time was around 1 a.m. when we were finalizing all. Lol...

The scariest horror movie I watched was 'Drag me to hell. It was a scary one like nothing and I watched it with a few of my cousins. It was not like other situations and it was a scary movie for all of us. Sometimes, we criticized and laughed. But this was a HORROR movie for all of us. 

There was no cool one to watch and everything scared us. It is kind of a story of an old woman's curse and a young girl faced with that situation. She was working in a bank and she could not help that woman to take a loan because of her job promotion. Though that old lady begged her, she refused to help her. However, it ended up with a curse and she put her maximum effort to get rid of that curse. Though we expected her peace, it ended up dragging her to hell. 

Still, I could remember the last scary scene. After that, I did not want to watch a horror movie. Later on, one of my cousin brothers checked the reviews and ratings of that film. It was rated as a top horror movie. 

However, the funniest thing happened to one of my cousin sisters. At that time, she was working in a finance company. She said that she was facing similar situations there. All of us increased her fear saying 'Don't refuse to give loans. Give it to anybody. Otherwise, someone will curse you also. Lol... I think she was thinking about it very seriously. The actors and actresses could play their jobs well and the script also a good though it scared us a lot.