45.0 Go Through The Pain. Don’t Give Up Buddies...

When I was studying for a Master’s degree, most of the students were in the tired mode in the lectures. Some of them slept well. There was one lecturer who cared about us a lot. He understood our tiredness while some other lecturers ignored it as they also didn't have an option. 

One lecturer taught some theory concepts via the videos. One video went for about ten minutes, and at that time he used to sit in the last rows. At that time, I took a break and did not watch the video. I used to listen in by closing my eyes and covered my forehead area via a hand.

A few lecturers want our active participation in the lectures. So, one of the lecturers arranged some group activities and asked questions. One day he asked us to explain a work incident related to conflict management with the actions we took to resolve it. I did not want to put any effort into anything which did not use to evaluate us. I did not put my effort to say a word even if it did not belong to the evaluation of our program. I was tired. Lol...

Most of the weekdays were very tired for me because of office hours, lectures, and restless weekends. Therefore, I could not focus on studies at night after completing all those main tasks. Most of the time I went to the office like a zombie. I could say that I have dragged to the office and I did not go there.

One day one of my office friends came to my seat and talked about some friendly things with me. After a few minutes, he said 'Shall I ask something? As I agreed he asked 'Are you suffering from any problem? I have noticed your behavior for some time, and it was not normal. I could see some sort of fear on your face. What is the reason behind this situation? At that time, I wanted to laugh and I did not have a proper answer to give him. I thought that he won't believe if I told the truth 'Exam pressure because of the way he talked to me. However, I told about exams and assignments including my bad health.

However, I knew that he did not believe me. He suggested healthy foods and exercises as some options. Later on, I thought that there could be such an alien look on my face when thinking about that pressurize environment I lived with workload and studies. So, his observation was correct. Why do you have fear on your face??? That was a marvelous question. Lol...

Actually, health also not in good condition. Though I had separate Vitamins also there was a pain in the whole body because of an unknown reason. From time to time I have attacked by fever and cold on top of that pain. So, I could say that it was an endless pain. I could not get rid of the cold.  

Not only me, most of the students pressurized because of their busy schedules. Apart from all, most of us were suffering from various illnesses. I think tiredness was the main reason for us to be the victim of most of the diseases. Some of them left their jobs as well. I left my job after going through these main hurdles. As I said earlier still, some questions don't have proper answers. Lol...

The mid-semester consists of both exams and assignments. There was no enough gap in between some exam days and assignment deadlines. Therefore, I took study leaves for eight working days, I think. When I was staying at my uncle's home, some people saw me at that time, though I lived there for a long time period. So, one uncle saw me and he asked about my studies. 

He said that one of his relative daughters was looking after her kids by staying at home though she is MSc holder. I think he tried to say that my destiny also will be the same as his relative. Though I wanted to slap him, I listened to his story, peacefully without any response. I think if I told him something at that time, he would be an enemy now. Lol...

After studying for a few days, I felt that the desk was not in the correct location in the room and lighting was not enough for studies. Therefore, I moved my desk from time to time and it was in three to four different locations in the room. Our housemaid asked 'why did you move it to the previous location if it was not good for you earlier. I did not have an answer actually, though I wanted to say that 'Shut up... I'm going crazy...

Actually, I don't know the exact reason for that much pressure, and it was similar for most of the students. Some of them had junk foods like nothing during this time, and most of the boys used to drink energy drinks. 

One of my friends had some tablets that recommended for athletics to keep them awake. One day once I sat for the exam, I saw that one of our lecturers was sitting in the exam hall. But it was a blurred scene, and on that day, I got to know about my eye vision.

Though I had my Tea, breakfast, lunch, and snacks before the exam, I had a bottle of soft drink just a few minutes before the exam. I used to have it before going to the exam hall. I did it as a practice for entire exams. As I mentioned earlier, there were many questions without answers during this period. There were plenty of abnormal behaviors. Lol…

However, though it was a hectic and ridiculous time, I know that it always gave benefits to me. So, I could say that the tough past is like an investment in our lives where we can take harvest later.

So, go through the pain buddies… Don’t give up.

  

44.0 Why Do We Need Motivation For Our Lives?

What kind of memories you have about 'Exams?' Do you love exams? Not much, right? It depends. I have very few friends who wanted that exam pressure. 

I guess that the majority do not like to attend the exams though it is always beneficial for us. If you think about your job status, I think the reason for you to go with that status is the exams you passed apart from the working experience you have. So, we should respect the exams. Lol...

By the way, what was the main helper for you when you were preparing for exams? It's 'Google for me. Absolutely 'Google was my best friend for me to resolve any questions I had in exam eras. Apart from the questions, it helped me to reduce stress, depression, anxiety, anger, and all during the exam era. So, once I wanted a change 'google was the friend who supported me to find out my favorite songs and videos. The help I had during my Masters's was precious and unmeasurable.

I used to listen to the same four to five movie video songs when I was preparing for a Masters Degree. Actually, it could give me courage or a kick to energize my studies when I was fed up with assignments and all. But, still, I don't know the reason for selecting the same set of songs. 

Sometimes, my brain did not have enough capacity to think about it anymore. So, those days I stayed at my uncle's (father’s elder brother) home as I was 9 - 6 office workers. I had to find out time for exam preparation and assignments of Masters at night. Most of the time, it started at 9.30 p.m. and continued till 1 to 2 a.m. I could say that it was a horrible time for me. After 12, I used to listen to my favorite songs set. Most of the time my uncle came to visit me and at that time I was watching a video song. Not working on studies. However, he did not ask anything about my hobby, and, he asked me to sleep.

Few songs of 'Chennai Express' movie were on my list. I'm taking this opportunity to thank ‘Sharuk Khan and ‘Deepika Padukone who was the main actor and actress of that movie. So, this movie and its songs always reminded my Masters's era. Lol... However, I watched many Hindi movie songs by ‘Sharuk and ‘Deepika in this era. 


Especially when there was a group of people in a video song, I watched the same for two to three times to watch the actions of a different set of people. I enjoyed the dance of supporting dancers apart from the main actor and actress. The thing was I allocated two different times to focus on the key roles and sub-roles. Is that the way that you are also enjoying a song with a video? It was my way. Lol...

Apart from them, I listened to Sinhala songs of 'Amaradewa, 'Victor Rathnayake, 'Karunarathne Divulgane and 'Nanda Malini. Those songs were in my classical songs list. 

So, the next big thanks go to these giant artists. I could say that listening to their songs was like meditation. Apart from those Sinhala classical songs, 'Sari Pote' song of 'Yureni Noshika was another video I watched during this time. It was also a kind of video that can energize me, I think. In that video, I loved to see the actions of 'Tennison Kooray as well.

Sometimes I listened to songs of new artists as well. Sometimes I wanted to listen to 'Bus songs. There is such a song category in Sri Lanka. Lol... Such songs can hear in most of the private buses and that was the reason for that category. Though there was no taste at all I listened to those as well. I don't know why actually. Lol... However, the songs I selected could analyze the different mental statuses I had those days.

Though I worked till midnight for these exams and assignments, I could say that it was not effective at all. Sometimes I spent three to four hours without a reasonable outcome. I could think and write five to ten lines when I was working on assignments and when rereading the same on the following day, I blamed myself. 

The written content was useless, and it was another rework. Sometimes I just watched on the computer screen without doing nothing, and the worst thing was it took a reasonable time for me to realize that idle time. It was a weird behavior. Like my advanced level exam, I did not consume any food or drink at night studies. It was also a question without an answer. I did not want to have any snack or drink after dinner. I don't know why?

Finally, I tried to schedule my studies in the early morning, and it did not work at all. I just snoozed the alarm and slept. Our lectures also scheduled at night after office hours and it went till 9 p.m. on weekdays. There were three-night classes per week. One of my friends said that we should work on studies on the same day after each lecture. However, it was beyond my capacity and I could not do that though his idea was an effective one.

As nothing worked for me, I decided to allocate the entire weekends for studies, and it worked well for me. However, I could not spend time with my family during the weekends even. 

So, my father always asked 'Do all of your friends work on studies like this? As per my knowledge, the situation of others also the same as me. Therefore, always my answer was 'Yes and I took some friends as examples as well. The same thing happened to my other friends as well. Their spouses always questioned their work. One of my friend's wife said that she also worked on exams and assignments, but she never was in such a pain. Most of the time they did not argue with their spouses as it consumed additional time. Lol...

As our program tightly stuck to one year, they did not understand the workload and time schedules as most of them did a two-year program. So always they thought that there was something wrong with us. Actually, I could say that they could not bear up the pain we had. I think for a one-year time period they missed their loved ones. However, I should really appreciate the support and patience of our families.