45.0 Go Through The Pain. Don’t Give Up Buddies...

When I was studying for a Master’s degree, most of the students were in the tired mode in the lectures. Some of them slept well. There was one lecturer who cared about us a lot. He understood our tiredness while some other lecturers ignored it as they also didn't have an option. 

One lecturer taught some theory concepts via the videos. One video went for about ten minutes, and at that time he used to sit in the last rows. At that time, I took a break and did not watch the video. I used to listen in by closing my eyes and covered my forehead area via a hand.

A few lecturers want our active participation in the lectures. So, one of the lecturers arranged some group activities and asked questions. One day he asked us to explain a work incident related to conflict management with the actions we took to resolve it. I did not want to put any effort into anything which did not use to evaluate us. I did not put my effort to say a word even if it did not belong to the evaluation of our program. I was tired. Lol...

Most of the weekdays were very tired for me because of office hours, lectures, and restless weekends. Therefore, I could not focus on studies at night after completing all those main tasks. Most of the time I went to the office like a zombie. I could say that I have dragged to the office and I did not go there.

One day one of my office friends came to my seat and talked about some friendly things with me. After a few minutes, he said 'Shall I ask something? As I agreed he asked 'Are you suffering from any problem? I have noticed your behavior for some time, and it was not normal. I could see some sort of fear on your face. What is the reason behind this situation? At that time, I wanted to laugh and I did not have a proper answer to give him. I thought that he won't believe if I told the truth 'Exam pressure because of the way he talked to me. However, I told about exams and assignments including my bad health.

However, I knew that he did not believe me. He suggested healthy foods and exercises as some options. Later on, I thought that there could be such an alien look on my face when thinking about that pressurize environment I lived with workload and studies. So, his observation was correct. Why do you have fear on your face??? That was a marvelous question. Lol...

Actually, health also not in good condition. Though I had separate Vitamins also there was a pain in the whole body because of an unknown reason. From time to time I have attacked by fever and cold on top of that pain. So, I could say that it was an endless pain. I could not get rid of the cold.  

Not only me, most of the students pressurized because of their busy schedules. Apart from all, most of us were suffering from various illnesses. I think tiredness was the main reason for us to be the victim of most of the diseases. Some of them left their jobs as well. I left my job after going through these main hurdles. As I said earlier still, some questions don't have proper answers. Lol...

The mid-semester consists of both exams and assignments. There was no enough gap in between some exam days and assignment deadlines. Therefore, I took study leaves for eight working days, I think. When I was staying at my uncle's home, some people saw me at that time, though I lived there for a long time period. So, one uncle saw me and he asked about my studies. 

He said that one of his relative daughters was looking after her kids by staying at home though she is MSc holder. I think he tried to say that my destiny also will be the same as his relative. Though I wanted to slap him, I listened to his story, peacefully without any response. I think if I told him something at that time, he would be an enemy now. Lol...

After studying for a few days, I felt that the desk was not in the correct location in the room and lighting was not enough for studies. Therefore, I moved my desk from time to time and it was in three to four different locations in the room. Our housemaid asked 'why did you move it to the previous location if it was not good for you earlier. I did not have an answer actually, though I wanted to say that 'Shut up... I'm going crazy...

Actually, I don't know the exact reason for that much pressure, and it was similar for most of the students. Some of them had junk foods like nothing during this time, and most of the boys used to drink energy drinks. 

One of my friends had some tablets that recommended for athletics to keep them awake. One day once I sat for the exam, I saw that one of our lecturers was sitting in the exam hall. But it was a blurred scene, and on that day, I got to know about my eye vision.

Though I had my Tea, breakfast, lunch, and snacks before the exam, I had a bottle of soft drink just a few minutes before the exam. I used to have it before going to the exam hall. I did it as a practice for entire exams. As I mentioned earlier, there were many questions without answers during this period. There were plenty of abnormal behaviors. Lol…

However, though it was a hectic and ridiculous time, I know that it always gave benefits to me. So, I could say that the tough past is like an investment in our lives where we can take harvest later.

So, go through the pain buddies… Don’t give up.