56.0 Master The Style Of Identifying Toxic People With These 9 Signs.

Sometimes this topic might give you a different impression if you read my other blog posts. But I wanted to share this with you all. I think that this will be a useful thing for most of us. Identify People! What do you think? Are you a genius on this subject? Though I'm going to share my experience and observations with you, I'm also not a genius on this subject. But I believe a few things I observed during my lifetime. I hope it would help you to think about your measurements before coming into decisions. It is the main purpose of this article.

From the very beginning of my life, I would like to observe people. When I'm participating in a function and when traveling by bus, I just thought about the qualities of people by considering a few things. I'm not talking about people I know. I'm talking about the observations I did for the people who I don't know and met before. Because of this behavior, some of my fellows thought that I was in another world, though I have been with them. Lol… What to do? It is one of my hobbies.

I did not give attention to many. I observed about one/two people at one time. So, most of the time my attention paid for very calm people, noisy people, and active people. First, I thought that what kind of reasons would make them act as so. My grandfather always used to remind us that "Empty Pots Are Shaking." It was the key advice he gave when we were children. Therefore, it was a predefined decision in my mind. So, when there was a noisy person, I knew that he/she was an empty pot. That advice helped me to Read People.

Do you believe your first impression of someone? Sometimes it won't work for all. But I believe my first impression. I have many examples and I'm sharing key incidents with you to prove that decision. However, it does not mean that I reject that person after the observation I got via the first impression. But I keep it as his/her background and make the negotiations with them accordingly.  However, I want to emphasize you to not to make decisions according to my views. But giving a try won't harmful to anybody. When you are identifying a new person, there is no inbuilt relationship with each other. So, definitely, you can give a try. 

What is your first impression? What does make you come to that decision? Do you know any other matching characters for your new person? What are the benefits/bad luck you have taken because of them? If you made a mistake(s) in your life because of them, how do you want to deal with this person? If you made a mistake because of your bad, how are you going to deal with this new person without losing him/her? Try to answer these questions by having a small chat with yourself along with that first observation. I believe you can analyze your decision accordingly to identify his/her background.

After that, I match that person with another I knew and tried to compare the qualities he/she has. Therefore, when I was looking at him/her self-there was a guy/gal I knew behind that person. All the time it is not a correct comparison. But I believe matching somebody you know, is a key fact that helps you to Identify People you don't know. However, I'm not asking you to do so. But, if you haven't tried it, it is better to give a try and analyze your decision. Then you can identify the accuracy of your decision.

However, it takes time to identify the accuracy of your decision. It takes time. But this kind of analysis avoids risks. You won't take a risky step in your life until that time, as you have a background-level of decision about him/her. You know the place that you need to keep that person. I believe it is enough in the initial stage.

 

If I am moving to my key incidents, all people were my co-workers. Our workplace is such a challenging place that lets us do work with people we did not know before. So, it is very important to go through that quick check-up before starting your journey with them. So, it was my second job opportunity and at that time she was there when I was joining with them. 

She was in the reception area when I was meeting her. She did not give me a friendly welcome, though I also joined for a similar position. In that workplace, we were multi-tasks workers. We taught students in the lectures, supported them in the computer labs, managed their class fees, etc... We did the lecturing and management both. So, that girl also in the reception area to manage some stuff though he was a lecturer at that institute.

First Impression! Why could not she give a friendly smile even? It was my first inner question. She did not give eye contact as well. I thought that she was talking to someone else. So, within the first few minutes, I thought that "she should have something to hide". However, that thought did not keep for the entire day and she was friendly with me after the lunch hour. 

So, after a couple of weeks, all of us were good friends. That era was a nice time we had in my career. Therefore, I thought that my decision was wrong and I thought that I had a wrong impression about such a lovely friend. As she was there before us, her contributions to management tasks a lot and we involved with those tasks when she was not there.

One day, one of our seniors came and instructed me to manage the stuff she did. As she was not there, I did not have a doubt. Though we were thinking about her, she did not come for the entire week. We could not contact her. After another few days, we got to know that the management fired her from the job. Because she stole money that received from students. It was shocking news for all. Nobody believed that by comparing her appearance and behaviors. But it was the truth, and it was the time that reminded my first impression. 

Did she try to hide something? Yes. She had much to hide and play that role for a long time. I also involved money acceptance when she was not there. But luckily, I kept logs separately without mentioning in the main logbook. It was her advice and once she came, she cumulated all with fraud logs. However, that separate logbook saved me from fraud.

So, that situation matched with my first decision. But the mistake I did here was I did not keep that decision as her background and work accordingly with her. After a couple of days, I gave up that thought. Therefore, I never had a suspicious eye on her. So, it was easy for her to continue her tasks without worrying about us. That is why she was friendly with us. I have much to explain, guys. Wait! I don't want to summarize these incidents. I'll explain in a detail view.

I will help you to remove Toxic, Fake and Difficult People as Smart People. Don't you feel that you are reading a book about Sherlock Holmes? No. Right...? Lol...

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55.0 Warning! Stop Wasting Food! We Can End Hunger.

How To Save Money! It was another big deal I had on our journeys. Though I mentioned as "I" in here, it was a common issue for most of us.  When we were leaving our country, we decided not to exchange all the money we have. We plan to exchange the rest of the money whenever we need it. We thought that it would be a good practice in financial management. So, we allocated a certain amount for shopping and food expenses. As per the discussions we had before, we strictly decided not to go beyond the allocated thresholds. Therefore, as per our ground rules, I exchanged some portion of the rupee amount into the dollars.

Once we reached there, I planned to exchange the rest of the dollars according to my needs. However, I kept some amount in rupees as well. I wanted to keep some rupee amount. Lol... On the very first day, everybody was very keen on their expenses. All of us had good discipline. So, we thought twice before having a meal as well. Always we did not forget to compare it with our Rupee value by converting the price of everything.

However, I could say that our currency conversion job did not have a long life. We thought that we would go back to our country to buy goods as per our desired money value. So, from the second day onwards, we started to eat things we loved, and buy whatever we wanted. Once we went to one shopping complex, we could not think about what to buy. According to the availability of varieties, it was not easy to make a decision. So, we decided to visit a few shopping complexes to check the goods with prices and identify our needs. We identified our needs after that analysis. Lol...

However, before we went there, one of our friends contacted us to check our status. He lived in that country. So, he asked us to visit an area before buying goods from those Shopping Malls. That place was like "Pettah" in Sri Lanka. As per his advice, we all decided to go there first on the next day. Once we went there, we got to know that there are also many varieties of goods. There were lots of shops.

The prices were almost the same as the goods in those shopping complexes. The main advantage was there were "Sales.. !" And they agreed in price negotiations. So, it was an ideal place for us. Lol... As we now had an idea about the availability of the goods in the shopping complexes, we decided to buy some goods from these shops, and complete the shopping the next day by visiting shopping complexes.

Therefore, went to a few shops and analyzed the price. We could observe that there were some small price gaps in the shops here. Sometimes we have seen that they communicated different prices for us and other customers. As we visited many shops, as usual, we could identify some shops that have quality goods. But we did not agree with the price they told. We bargained up to the maximum. Lol... 

So, when we were working on our bargaining and buying process, one shop owner asked about our country. As that bargaining power was a shame to our country, I told the name of another country. Sorry... <Country>... Somehow, we could cover most of our shopping needs via that shopping area thanking them.

Sometimes, we could not identify the shops we already visited as we covered lots of shops for a very short time. Therefore, some of my cousins look like their regular customers. The other thing is they revisited the shop even after identifying it as a visited one. That was a major issue for others, as all of us had to wait for each one. Huh... It was a pain that kills the shopping thrill. Sometimes, we got angry with them. Still, they had many things to visit and buy. It was an exceptional case. I think we did not bring shame to our motherland as we hid its name. Instead of that, we told them that "we are from <country>". Sorry... Sorry... If you are living in that country, you will kill me. I know.

In one instance, I could not identify the sales girl in a shop. There were a few customers, and I asked the price of shoes from a lady and she was not a salesgirl. So, she got angry with me and said: “asked someone”. Her face got reddish and it was a big shame for her. As it happened to many customers, including me in our country, I did not think that it was a big issue. I also did not feel shame when it happened to me. However, I quickly left the shop. Lol... There were nice phone cases that I could not buy.

Finally, I bought many items from that place, and a reasonable portion of money gone away. So, I exchanged my remaining dollars and thought to do the next round of shopping in the shopping complexes. When we were moving there, we got to know that most of us have spent money. It was our last day of the journey, and the next day was our departure day. So, we decided to buy small things from here, and keep another portion to buy something from our Sri Lanka duty-free. God's Plan For Your Money! 

As there was much stuff that we could not afford, all of us felt sad. We watched and came with our weeping hearts. As we could not manage our expenses on the other days, we had to do window shopping in that complex. So, we could not buy at least 50% of the stuff we planned, before going to that shopping area.

One of our cousin sisters blamed our government, pointing out the low value of our currency. It made all of us laugh, though her argument was the correct one. She released her pressure in that way. I think it would be a relief for her. At least she had a valid reason to leave that Shopping Mall without a few bags. Lol...

On the last day, most of them were fed up because of that matter. Therefore, only me and one of my cousins wanted to visit a bird park. So, we went there, and others did not come. Even though we wanted to take professional photographs with birds, money did not allow us. Our poor financial management did not allow us. If we had a proper plan, we could cover all without any worry. So, we did not eat an extra thing except a drink, even though we wanted to eat something. When the others were enjoying the birds' visit with snacks, we had a soft drink.

During my entire lifetime, it was the day, that I could not eat anything when I wanted to eat something. Lol... So, we wished everybody in the world get rid of starving. I remembered the faces of some beggars who met in our country. Their unhealthy and tired look gave me another tension at that moment, and at that time, I could truly feel the value of food.  

Therefore, Don't Waste Food. Adhere with Zero Waste Lifestyle. When you are worrying about your meal, many people cannot afford that meal even. All of us should respect food. We should donate to others who cannot afford food. If you can fill that poverty gap on a small scale, it also would be a merit to you all. Therefore, do not let anybody you know to starve, friends. Please help them!

Sometimes, a beggar will ask for money to eat something, and you will feel that he/she is lying. Sometimes, it will be a lie. I know. But, please don't ignore that request. It is an investment for your ego. It was a great lesson I learned.

 

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33.0 The Entire World Is Full Of Crazy Nuts & You Can Find Out Most Of Them In A Bus

One day, an uncle sat in a front seat and, he looked a few times back. Later on, he gave his phone and SIM card to me and, asked me to put that SIM into his phone. By looking at his face and behavior, I understood that he drunk a lot. 

So, I politely said that I don’t know how to do that and, it made him angry. Then he murmured something and, blamed me. He said that 'Always wires are in the ears but do not know how to do this simple task. That was the only thing I could hear even though he murmured something else.

This incident also a different one and that day I was coming back after finishing a tuition class. At that time, I did not have changes. So, I gave a five hundred Rupees note to the bus conductor and, he had to return about four hundred Rupees as the balance. 

At that time he did not give me the balance by asking me to remind it when getting down from the bus. I was in the last seat in that bus and, there were few people in that row. After a while, one uncle talked to the conductor and asked my balance. Then the conductor said “Sure. I will give it to her”. A little bit later, that uncle asked the balance again and, it made conductor angry. Even though I did not ask, he blamed me and, said “I’m not taking your money and get down. I will give to you. You don’t need to worry.” Then that uncle replied back and, there was a small argument among them. Once it finished, I said “uncle, please don’t ask balance from him. I will ask when I get down from the bus”. Then I acted like sleep by following up on my one safety method. 

Sometimes, I got late to come home from the office and, I had to travel at the night around nine p.m. So, it was a big headache for my parents and, they asked me to stop this several times. However, for some reason, I could not obey them due to workload or meetings I had in the evenings at the office. 

 

If I had to leave the office a bit early without attending for those, then there was another problem at the office even though it resolved my parents’ issue. So, either my parents or seniors in the workplace blamed me due to this situation. Sometimes, I came home in the very early morning around four or clock by a cab and, went back to the office again around ten a.m. once I worked for a European project. I had to resolve some issues with them in their time zone. So, my parents also used to wake up and, wait for me even though I asked them to sleep. These were the main reasons for these night or midnight journeys.

This incident happened when I was coming home around nine p.m. It was a Friday and, the buses were crowded. So, I had to take two buses. Time was around nine-thirty p.m. when  I was waiting for the next bus. There were a few men in the bus stand and, there were no ladies. At that time, most of the buses were already gone and, I could not get into any buses due to the crowd. You know that I’m not going when there is a big crowd… 

So, I asked my father to come there. But I knew that it was about thirty minutes' journey though I asked him to pick me. Therefore I was so scared to wait for him with those few people. So, I went to one shop and did some window shopping. But at that time, they were closing down their shop. So, I had to tell my concern to them and, asked to stay there a little longer. Luckily, they agreed to wait for my father and, it was a big relief for me. As I knew that my father also scared and, come in a rush, I said that “No hurry. You come safely and slowly”. But it made him angrier and more stressed. Once my father came, I thanked very much to the staff of that shop and came home. Once I came home, I saw that my mother was crying by murmuring something and, my sister was blaming me like a non-stop song. Father did not speak to me and, he was very silent due to anger. Ohh shit…! Only our doggy welcomed me as usual. 

One day, only a few men left on the bus with me when I was coming home on such a night journey. At that time there were about ten kilometers to our home. So, this made me scared a lot by remembering a rape incident happened inside the bus and that was happening even though that girl's boyfriend was there. He could not control those men as a film. So, this girl raped by a few men. There were similar rape cases inside the buses in our country as well. At that time, I remembered all these stories and, it increased my fear a lot. I was confused more by looking back. 

The guy who had a weird look smiled at me and, it was an abnormal smile. Sometimes, I saw his smile suspiciously because of the fear I had at that time. Perhaps he understood that I was afraid. Finally, I reached my destination and, I rang the bell to get down from the bus. Then the driver turned back and looked at me. He also smiled weirdly and said something to the conductor. For a few seconds, I was thinking that, what should I do, if he did not stop the bus. If he did not stop, I thought to jump from the bus to live or die at that time.

This incident happened when I was going to Colombo for my higher studies. I got onto the bus at five or clocks in the morning. On that day, I had an examination as well. But my friend did not come due to a funeral at her home. We had to bring the identity card as a compulsory thing for the examination.

After I got onto the bus, I thought that I did not bring my ID and I suddenly checked it in my bag. Ohh Shit! Yes. It’s not there. So, I got down from the next town to go back home to bring it. Once I got down from the bus only, I realized the silly thing I have ever done. Even though a few people got down with me, none of them left in the bus halt and, all of them went to different places. Then I left there alone and, the darkness and, a silent made me scared. I waited for a few minutes, but there were no buses to go back home. 

So, I wanted to run and hide somewhere. It was that much scary moment for me. At that time, I did not have a mobile phone, and I could not tell my father to come. I felt helpless and meantime, I heard some rubbish words of a few people. I heard them only and, I could not see them in the darkness. It increased my fear a lot and, I thought about my next actions if they come to me. When I was thinking about these things, a van stopped and, there were about ten young men in that van. Then the driver said “Hey sister, where are you going? We can drop you”. Then I said that I was waiting for my father. I thought that they were some drunk men by looking at their faces and the way they talked. So, I could not wait for another time and, I wanted to get into any bus to go to Colombo or home.

It was my fault and, I blamed myself. There were no buses in any root and, I waited for another few minutes in that horrible environment. Shortly, several people came to that bus halt and, then only I was conscious with normal conditions. But I could not forget the series of incidents that happened within a few minutes. 

Later on, I blamed myself for the drama I played, once I saw my identity card in the bag. It was there in the same pocket, which I used to keep it. I don’t know what happened actually and why I could not see it early? However, I could not concentrate on the exam as my mind was a mess. Marks were very low for that subject. I did not tell this to my parents or sister except my friends. They also blamed me for the foolish thing I had done. I also accepted my mistake and, I promised myself not to do the same fault again under any emergency situation. Actually, if I could think twice and arrange my exam stuff on the last night well, I would not face this incident. 

This incident also happened in the early morning and, at that time also I was going to Colombo for my higher studies, I think. So, I got into an intercity bus, I could not see any people except the driver and conductor. Suddenly I said “Nobody there inside the bus” and, it happened unintentionally. 

It made conductor laugh and, he said ‘No, there are two in the last seat.’ Then I could see a boy. But I could not see anyone else. However, I went inside the bus and saw a girl with him. They did not behave well, as there was no anyone. After a few minutes, a few people got onto the bus. The conductor looked at me and, said 'See. People are coming. It was fun for him and, he repeated it over and over once people got onto the bus. He laughed by looking at me and, then others looked at me by keeping a big question mark in their eyes. Once I told this to my friends, it was a good topic for them for a couple of days.

There is another story which same as this one. I was sitting on that day. After a few miles, a school crowd got on to the bus. So, some of them gave their books and bags me to keep. After a few minutes, one girl thanked and took back her bag from me. 

Then the person who sat beside me got down and, one schoolboy sat in that seat. At that time, he did not have any books or a bag. I think, he went about five to six kilometers without keeping any stuff. For all the time those school crowd talked loudly and laughed like nothing. I was carrying those goods and thinking about the old good school days I had. After a few miles that boy got up and said 'Hey, sister, can you give my books back?. I was wondered and ashamed. Others laughed a lot. 

These are some main memories that came to mind. Even though some incidents made me laugh now also, I think, I could avoid some silly situations if I could think twice.

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