69.0 Cooking Is All About People. Love Is One Of Grannies' Spices!

Hey! What's going on? I hope you are enjoying your time by staying at home. I think we won't get another similar time to this period during this life. I saw a Facebook post, and it says that such pandemic situations happen every 100 years. So, guys, don’t worry. This is the only crisis we have to face during our lifetime. It is our wish. Though I wanted to write something else, this was the start. I hope you like it.

Today, we will talk about cooking memories. I think it is the best topic, and you all can enjoy it. Because all of us have fun and horrible cooking experience. I hope most of you all are having homemade stuff these days as nobody has any other choices. So, cooking is one of our main jobs. These days it is one of my main jobs due to the absence of home supporters.

I'm pointing out this view according to my knowledge. So, please correct me if I'm wrong. I think we Sri Lankans have a lengthy process for meal preparation. Most of us prepare two meals to cover the daily consumption. Some of them prepare breakfast and lunch at once and prepare a separate meal for dinner. We don't prepare food for a few days or a week. So, I think "cooking" is a job that requires considerable time per day. If we take our meals, then it consists of two to three curries. Most of the time it goes with two vegetables, and dhal, fish, or meat curry.

I hope if I describe to you the tasks we are doing, then you will identify that it has a procedure or process. So, when you are having Sri Lankan food, then you will remember the effort and may give more value to it. Just a thought... Lol...

So, selecting suitable vegetables to cook is the first thing. Though it seems nothing, it is a big thing that every mother/wife/daughter/sister, etc... has to think about by thinking of family members' preferences. Sometimes, it is impossible to select. Sometimes, you may have to give priority to specific family members by ignoring others. You may have to tell them "eat if you can and starve if you cannot". But you cannot ignore the same person every time. Lol... So, you should have something like a priority list for a week. Then you can consider the food preference of each family member at least once per week. Therefore, it is the first important decision.

When moving to the next, then our chef should think about the spices and oil portion that needs to be put into the curries. Though it also seems an easy task, believe me. It is NOT. If you think like that, then it is wrong. As an example, if I consider the situation of my family, my father does not like oily and salty curries. He wants chilies. But my preference is the opposite choice. When it comes to my sister's family, they don't put salt and chilly at all. So, we cannot eat their meals, and they cannot eat our meals. It is impossible. So, both parties stopped sharing food.
 

When my granny was living with us, the problem was in "Red" status. Lol... Because of her age, she could not feel the taste of food. According to my knowledge, we cannot feel the full taste of food after 70 years. It reduces to 50%. At that time, she was in her 90. So, she never satisfied with the combinations of spices we put into the curries. Those days she lived in my father's elder brother's home. As she made food complaints, one day our uncle asked her to put salt, chilies, spices, tamarind, turmeric, and all according to her wish. The funniest thing was, on that day she ate very little. But she was very silent. 

Earlier we fed up with her complaints, and we worried about our cooking skills. But one day, one of our aunts arranged lunch for all family members. She was a cookery expert, and nobody can point out mistakes. So, on that day also our granny came up with many complaints and suggestions. On that day I decided to stop worrying about her complaints. Lol... Those days she used to say "cook well, and serve tasty food to others to gain merits". Apart from the spices, the time we spent in the kitchen was another measuring factor she used for her decisions. If we take a little time, then she said that the curries have not steamed well. There is a famous chef in Sri Lanka called "Pabilis Silva". So, we told her that even Pabilis Silva's skills are not enough to prepare food for her. Lol...

There are many memories of my granny and cookery. Those two have linked to each other as a needle and thread. As she did not like our meal preparations, our uncle asked her to use spices, salt, and all as per her wish. Along with that permission, she wanted to prepare her tea too. She said that she can do it well without other's support. One day when I was coming from the office, I saw that she was in the kitchen by preparing tea. As she spent more time, I wanted to see her and went to the kitchen. 

When I was going there, I saw a cup of Tea with pink color. It amazed me and at that moment I thought that my cousin sister had brought a strawberry flavor powder for tea. It was my thought. So, I checked over there to find it, and then I saw the chilly bottle on the table. My thought was correct. She had put chilly to her tea. It was a mistake. Those days her eyesight was not good.  When I was telling it to her, she said that it is a coffee bottle. If I did not come on time, then she could nicely have a cup of chili flavored tea. 

So, this is all about one step of that food preparation process. You may feel wonderful when I'm telling you the rest. I'm sure even you never thought about it before. We can discuss the cookery wars in the next articles. Stay safe... Take care, buddies. 

  

#blog #blogging #cooking #spices #granny #cousin #tea #chilies #strawberry #vegetables #family #food #chef #merits #curry #meal #facebook #srilanka

68.0 People In The Workplace. The Hidden Crowd!

When looking back the past few weeks, I understood that most of the people do not like to read or watch any more about Corona. Corona, Corona… What is this? I think it increases that pressure when living with it. When does shit over? However, when you are getting angry with this situation, please remember that this is a result of human actions. Okay..? I too believe that it's good to focus our mind on different productive things in this stage without thinking about it in unnecessary fear. So, I believe the time and effort you put here to read this article is a productive thing for your lives. Lol... 

After the previous article that was written about a balanced mind, I don't expect to write any more about this global pandemic after this analysis. So, today I'm moving back to reveal another stage of jobs I did. It's all about the people I dealt with though they were not my coworkers. But they helped us to do our job in various ways. This is a lovely gift for all of them. I know none of them won't read my article. It is not the purpose either. I don't expect them to read. But you, the one who reads this can think more about them than earlier. I believe that this will help to have a new view of them. You will look at them in a different and nice way.

As I said in the post, A lovely gift for IT guys..., that work exposure changed me. I could say that it happened for both good and bad sides. Later on, I’ll explain what are those bad sides? Please be patient… When I was leaving my home to join with that job, I could not manage my stuff without the support of others. Somehow, I wanted somebody for my support. So, the very first month was a horrible one for me. From beginning to the end of the day consisted of challenges apart from the work stuff. Among all, washing clothes was a big headache, and I used to bring my dirty clothes home and bring them back after washing when I was coming from my home.

When thinking about it now, I know how silly it was. Lol... So, I carried a huge bag on Fridays and Mondays for this purpose. Meantime, I was like an employee of a courier service company. When my parents asked me to give seasonal fruits kind of things to my uncle, then that bag was full of all those stuff. One day I brought some mangoes from home. 

We had to keep our bags in the outside and sometimes I forgot to bring it back when leaving the office. So, on that day, my bag was filled with washed clothes and mangoes. I kept it on a Monday, and I forgot to take it on Tuesday also. So, when it comes to Wednesday, I could feel the smell of mangoes and security guys also questioned about it from me. The same thing happened a few times. Therefore, those security guys used to remind me about the things I brought when I'm leaving the office. Lol...

When remembering them, I have a nice memory of them. All of us were kind to each other. They were the people who greet us when we were entering and leaving the office. So, it was nice to have a small chat with them in these two moments. Some of them gave gossip tips and I think they let us come up with more details. So, there was a good relationship among some of our colleagues and them with regard to the sharing of gossip information. Lol... There was one lady and we knew that weakness. As we could not bring the stuff to our cubicle areas, we passed some foodstuff to our cubicles while letting her talk with one of our friends. Though it was a small cunning work done for a few food packs, it burnt a few liters of our blood. One of our colleagues said that it's totally fine because we did it for a pregnant lady. However, we were a greedy gang when she was eating that special food. Lol...

Apart from them, the team who brought tea and snacks for us did a great job. They were very friendly to us. I remember the way they served Tea as per the different requirements of us. Some of our colleagues wanted to have tea or coffee with a little sugar and some of them wanted plain tea in the morning and coffee in the evening. 

Some of them wanted to have sugarless tea. Sometimes our ladies and girls changed their requirements very often. Lol... Those days I was late to go to the office on Mondays as I was coming from my home. As there was a flexible hour’s schedule, it was not a problem. So, morning tea time was over when I was going there on Monday. But they were kind enough to give my tea irrespective of their schedule. 

One day I met a Tea uncle in another office. There were a few friends who worked with me in an ex-office. So, it was a nice meeting with that uncle and our gang. It was an innocent get together where we shared and reminded our joyful memories. At that time also, he asked whether I would like to have a Tea.

The people who did the cleaning service is the other crowd. If I could not put a note about them, then it is lacking. Some of them were friendly to us. The time we used the washroom was the time they used to reveal their life journeys. Most of them were filled with many difficulties. 

There was one lady and she was old. She had her grandchildren too. When I was looking at her, always I thought that she is not physically strong enough to do cleaning stuff. She said that she is leaving home around 5 am to come to our office. So, it was not an easy job for her. However, she did not worry about her job or physical conditions. She came every day and did her job well. When our team gives a small gift to her at the year-end, she was so happy. Apart from her, there was one young gent and one of his kids had a tumor in the brain. For surgeries and medicine, our office crowd helped him a lot with his expenses. There was another lady and she was a bit tough. She blamed the people who did not keep the washroom clean. She used to say “now we are cleaning the others bladdy shits because of the bad karma we did in our past. In the next ego, you will do our job”.  However, nobody talked against her though we had to hear that curse when she was working on our floor. I was happy about our reactions as we could see her inner war.

The others were the drivers who gave transport to us when we were working till night. That office arranged cabs for us to go home. They were very disciplined people, and I think nobody made a complaint about them. Some of them thought we have a wonderful and happening job life. I think it's because of the chit chats we had with transport buddies. Lol... Some of them understood our real situation. They knew how hard time we had with such a work schedule. So, they instructed us to keep our health. There was one mature person and he always asked us not to use cold water for shower after working till late at night.

Regarding the coworkers, I could say that I'm lucky to have a few lifetime friends. Apart from them, I had a professional relationship with others. As everybody was not good for me, I was not good for everyone too. As I had a blacklist, I was in some other's blacklists too. As you know it cannot be avoided. So, looking back past, it was a wonderful journey to rewind. Some incidents gave good lessons for life. Still, there are some improvements to consider. But I hope that awareness directs me to the best path. 

I think this is a bit long article when comparing to previous posts.  I can write many things. Though there are many things to talk about "People at the workplace", I don't think that it is useful for you all. Here, I'm revealing this side of people because of one purpose that I have mentioned at the beginning.

The other important thing is, my career journey did not go with the other's favorations. It is all about hard-working, enormous effort, and courage. Apart from the financial benefits that I'm gaining today, that is the most rewarded thing I can share with you as a person who dealt according to the conscience.

#blog #blogging #office #labor #security #teaservice #food #corona#covid19 #it #bag #clothes #parents #fruits #mango #friends #gossips #cubicle #pregnant #honest #drivers #transport #career #conscience 

67.0 Don’t Let Anything Crash The Peace Of Your Mind. The Guidance To Protect! Stay Safe...

I've been continuing the posts about my amazing (horrible) career journey. But I wanted to come up with this topic because of the bad situation that we are currently facing. You all know that. COVID-19! CORONA! I think it is a suitable topic to discuss as there are many points to share with you all. For the moment all of you know how to avoid it and what are the actions you need to take.

How to wash your hands? How to use Sanitizers? How to maintain social distance, etc…? But do you think about the status of your mind? Are you aware of your thoughts? Is it a mess now? If so, why? I think that is one of the most important things in this situation that we should take care of. It is important to think about your Mind!

How do we prepare our minds to face any situation? However, it is not a skill that you can develop instantly. But still, we are not late. I think we all should start practicing it from this moment onwards. I'm not telling you that I'm a genius. But I'm happy for my mind even though I'm also practicing its skill. At least, I know when a bad thought comes to my mind. I think anger is the main thing. But with this awareness, you can turn it into merits too. That is the benefit. 

However, this Dhamma belongs to the universal truth called Buddhism. It does not depend on your nationality or religion, as it is a universal truth. So, if you wish to think about it further, then you can visit many Dhamma preaching. I learned that valuable truth via the sermons of Ven Thiththagalle Anandasiri Thero. You can search it via "Maha Sinha Nadaya, Ven Thiththagalle Anandasiri Thero". So, it is an additional point. One day you will understand that your bad thoughts are your enemy, and it is the only war that you need to defeat.

As you know, the imbalance between the expectation and the actual current situation is the reason for many mental diseases. We give many names such as stress, anxiety, depression, etc... Those are certain situations that happen according to the amount of that gap. As an example, think about a moment that you get angry with somebody. 

I also had such many situations. Even at this moment also I cannot get rid of it fully. But the way I think about it and face it is the difference I made. So, according to that example, we are getting angry because of that gap. What happens if we can avoid that gap? It is called acceptance. If you can accept the current situation, then there is no gap between your expectations and the current actual situation.

You should try to start with little things. Try to accept the current behaviors of your family members and tell them the correct way by removing that gap in your mind. What is the gap I’m talking about? The gap between the expectation and the actual situation. If you cannot keep them on the correct track, then you change the style of your thinking pattern. Can you change your attitudes or qualities as per your wish? Though you want to do, can you change yourself easily? No, right? You can change your appearance as per your wish. But is it easy to change your inner thoughts? No. It is not. So, if you cannot change yourself, then how can you change others? Thinking in that way is one method. 

The other thing is, you know that all of us have different thinking patterns, appearances, behaviors, qualities, and all have done according to a previous schedule. We were the ones who prepared that plan and schedule in our previous lives in this never-ending cycle of births and rebirths. So, all of us are working accordingly and now we are preparing the schedules of our next lives via our current actions. Therefore, do you believe that you can change someone's schedule? Yes. You can. But up to some extent. So, always think about the peaceful status of your mind. Don't let anybody or anything to crash it.

You might think that how do these points help on this topic. You know that we cannot face an exam, function, wedding, or anything without preparation. The people who are at the top of a particular field have come to those levels via their sacrifices and relevant practices. You can become the genius of something according to the things you have practiced most. 

So, the mind is also like that. It behaves according to our thinking pattern. Therefore, the situation that we are facing now also not a one we expected. It is not our expectation. But it is the current situation. So, that is why I wanted to discuss a bit about that mental gap via the previous paragraph. I added this point to avoid your feeling if you feel it is not required for this topic.

If you can analyze the statistics of deaths in previous years due to diseases, then you will identify one thing. It is the sickness. It is one common thing that every being has to face along with their birth. So, birth, sickness, and death are common to every one of us.

It does not depend on anything. You will be a rich person. But you will be helpless like a beggar in front of death when you got to know that you don't have medicines to buy. So, we should aware of these truths well and we should develop our minds accordingly. As humans, our mind is the great gift we received to perceive this truth. If you can face any horrible situation without worrying, then you are a great hero. 

So, all of us will start removing anger and cravings from our minds. We try to keep it pure without spoiling it. To do that I believe acceptance is the best practice. Take care of yourself and others. Do whatever that requires to get rid of this matter. Adhere to the guidance of health experts. Don't break the medical and disciplinary rules to show that you are not afraid of your death. Please don't be an idiot. Meanwhile, be conscious of your thoughts. Treat your mind well, and take care of it. There is a way to end all this cycle. But for the moment, we should face this situation as humans who have developed mindsets. Be Relax! May Triple Gems Bless You! Stay Safe! Take Care!

#blog #blogging #covid19 #corona #mind #buddhism #peace #relax #cravings #anger #dhamma #universaltruth #truth #mahasinhanadaya #depression #stress #expectation #acceptance

66.0 A Lovely Gift For IT Guys. Oh Sorry... IT Professionals! The Start Of A Fantastic Career Journey. Lol...

With the completion of my higher studies, I wanted to move to my desired field. Though there were related opportunities, I wanted to start my career as a Software Developer. It was my dream. So, I was waiting for that opportunity by ignoring some other vacancies. Though I completed projects with coding for my studies, the employers were looking for employees with some more experiences.

Though my friends said that it is a tough and stressful job for a girl, I wanted that career path. They pointed out the struggle that their development team is putting on to convince me. But you know. I wanted that path. So, one of our senior colleagues asked me to develop a small project as the credentials to show, and I did it for an inventory control system. It was an addition to the coded projects I did for higher studies. So, it was the beginning I expected, and I was ready to accept my dream path even for any payment.

I could keep the first step in my career path as a Trainee VB.Net Programmer. After an induction program, they assigned us to teams under seniors. I started working on commercial projects, and it was a great feeling for me. However, it was not like the inventory system I developed by myself, and there were many coding rules to adopt. However, I could not continue that job for more than one year, and I moved to another place. It was a small organization, and there were very few employees. We met clients, gathered business requirements, develop the system, and test the system before handing over it to the clients.

So, it was the job of an all-rounder. However, job retention was very less, and most of the employees resigned after a few months. The rest of the team had to get the responsibility of their pending work. When I had to face it, I had to fix the issues that clients have communicated without studying the system’s code even. It was a horrible problem for all of us. Sometimes, it is not possible at all when it comes to fixing something that developed with a mess-up code without best practices.

So, in such a situation, our management asked me to visit the client's place and fix all the problems. She also came with me. When we moved there, there was a group of people to communicate their issues. So, now I'm going to touch someone's pending work to fix the problem. They served tea and snacks. They also sat with me to check the status of the issues. From time to time they asked the status of the issues. Though I wanted to tell them that "shut up... I'm not a machine, and this is not like a product that you can buy from a shop", I kindly requested more time to fix the issues. Meantime, they did not forget to discuss new requirements and root causes for the problems too. “I’m bearing up their burden, men……”. Lol... So, it was uncomfortable like hell, and I could not focus on the trouble.

After facing similar issues, I understood its difficulty and thought to change my career field. One of my colleagues also changed the career track, and it was the end for her too. In that company, there was one colleague, and he used to keep the phone receiver away when someone was communicating their system issues. As it is not a good thing to do, we asked him to listen to them. But he did not like to hear even their voice because of the tension they gave at the client's places. It was such an experience. So, I could say that it was the end of one of my dreams. Lol...

Software Testing! It was my destiny. Who knows? If I knew that, then I would start my career as a Tester without struggling as a developer. As it has been dragging for over 12 years, there are many memories. I could join a workplace I loved the most, and joining with them was my second career dream. Lol... I can remember the way I felt sad when I missed the first opportunity. But, later on, I could fulfill my dream. Therefore, the first day was an enjoyable moment like nothing. I enjoyed it a lot with other newcomers who had the same craziness. Some of them are still working at that company. I think they are their fixed assets. Lol...

We joyfully completed the induction programs also and moved to work. I could say that it was another chapter of my life. The life had stuck with "Testing". But the friends and that culture were some motivation factors. So, the workload was not a problem for a couple of years, and "work till the late night was not a problem at all. Lol...

Though it was an enjoyable time, that schedule was not bearable for all the time.  Some colleagues could have free time after finishing one project. But it was only five days for me for the entire five years. When I was working for European projects, I had to work for their time zones too. When the systems are going live, our heartbeats were started increasing a couple of days before the live day. If there was a major issue that we could not find out after going live, then it was the end of the job. One incident could spoil all the good jobs done. So, nobody wanted to get that black mark for their software modules. So, it was a stressful situation. Some of our colleagues went to religious places before go-live and asked for support because of this situation. Though it made us laugh for days, they did as so because of the afraid they had to face such situations.

Therefore, that job and the modules were attached to our personal lives. I think that's why some of our fellows were taking the support of religious places also. They took the project's issues as their problems. Most of our colleagues took their responsibility and they put the maximum effort. I think, that culture created such a bond between employee and job. Most of the colleagues did not check the time when they were working on their tasks. They wanted to finish it somehow and do the needful. I could say that work exposure could change our normal lifestyle.

#blog #blogging #gift #it #professionals #career #jobs #journey #computer #studies #software #development #softwaretesting #testing #qualityassuance #qa #organization #employee #bugs #defects #clients #destiny

65.0 Jobs! Are You A Successful Employee? All The Best...

Jobs!

• What do you know about jobs?

• What don't you know about jobs?

• Are you a successful employee at your company?

• Are you fed up with your job?

• Do you like your office colleagues?

• Are they jealousy about you?

• Do your colleagues let you go up on your career ladder?

• Can you manage your colleagues without hurting their feelings?

• Did they take your blames personally?

• Are you working in the field you expected?

• Does the salary is enough for you?

• Have you requested more?

• Did you remind your next promotion to them?

• How was the last performance appraisal meeting?

• Can you handle the workload within the deadline?

• Is it a reasonable one?

• Do you need more resources?

• Don't they want to hire anymore?

• Can you manage the workload of two people as a genius?

• Can you resolve any critical matter with minimum supervision?

• Have you checked any more opportunities this week?

• How about your last interview? Can you go through it?

• Are you passing your maximum stress level?

• What will happen on next morning?

Huh... Lol... When I'm starting this topic, these are some questions that came to mind by typing that word J….O….B….S! However, some of the questions that I have mentioned above are no longer available on my plate? Instead of those, there are new things? As I was a 9 - 6 employee, those were some firing questions I had before, and I think that most of you also face these matters if you are stuck in someone's office as such an employee. However, by proving Lord Buddha's Dhamma; "If you love 100 things, then you have 100 pains". Basically, if you love something, then it brings you pain. It is a universal truth, and the job has also belonged to this rule, as we have to love it. It is the income method of us. So, it is a thing that gives us the pain too. 

The time I spent as a job seeker was hectic. It was an interview era. In that era, I wanted to find a job near our home town. As IT job opportunities are limited to Colombo, I could not find my desired job. So, I started my career as an IT lecturer. Though the designation was given as a Lecturer, I got a small payment. 

However, I started it for my career exposure. I had to conduct lectures in the classrooms by helping them in the labs as an instructor too. So, it was not an easy job. I could say that the owners took the energy of young girls by allocating the maximum workload. There were many girls, and all had that tight schedule. However, it was a fun era, and sometimes we had to face for the incidents that we did as students in the past. When I was writing something on the board, some started laughing. When I was looking at them, they hid their laughter hardly. One day a boy came up with a question, and I did not know the answer. 

So, I gave an answer that can support the question. As he did not satisfy the answer, I asked him to remind it in the next week. So, I thought to find out the answer when I'm going to the next class. However, I forgot about it and had to face the same situation in the next class. But that guy followed up and asked again. I can remember how did I embarrass. That gang also wanted to defeat the teacher, and it happened. Still, I can remember the winning smile had on his face when I was embarrassed. Lol... 

When we were studying for the Advance level exam, I also did the same for a person who conducted a group class. On that day, we gave a difficult Math question to him, and he could not resolve it soon. When he was taking the time, I can remember how did he get sweat when we were happily watching that moment. However, he could do it by taking the time, even though I could not manage this situation at all. So, I think this incident was a return for me. It is a Karmically return. Lol… 

However, that era was a nice time as I did not stick to a computer only. I could involve different types of people. My colleagues and students had different personalities. So, it was a new experience for me. It was not like involving with a bunch of friends. It was a different thing. One day our management informed us that some seniors who were working in the government sector want to do the computer course. They said that they wanted some sessions in the lab. Not the theory sessions. 

So, they allocated me and another colleague for this job. So, we arranged special materials according to their requirements. When they came, again, they reminded their requirement. Some of them asked about our qualifications. Some felt shy to learn from us, as we look like their children. So, they pointed out many reasons for the requirement of that computer course.

As usual, we introduced the contents of the course. When we were doing it some of them did not look at us even, and they did not care about the things we said. So, it was an uncomfortable situation for us too. Because of their behavior, we could not teach the things and ask questions to verify their understanding as we did for others. So, we assumed that they got the point. He he he.... 

Therefore, the sessions we conducted at the lab were horrible. Some of them could not manage the computer mouse even, though they gave big talks before. So, it made them embarrassed like nothing. However, some caught up the things well and went forward. That gang did not like to listen to their colleagues also. They thought that it was not good for their image. However, they came for a few weeks and stopped suddenly. It was a great relief for us too.  Lol...

So, guys, this is one page of my career, and there are many to tell. I think I can write a few posts regarding this topic. Wait... I will come up with some remarkable memories. You can enjoy it and learn!

#blog #blogging #jobs #career #employee #employer #pain #company #computer #laptop #promotion #deadline #resources #interview #stress #office #lecturer #it #seniors #ego #memories

64.0 We Are Dealing With Feelings Of All…It Is Not A Business Negotiation

When getting back to the second part of this topic, I was confused, and don't know where to start. As you know, this is a horrible topic. Lol... However, I would like to reveal all the crazy stuff with you. You also can share your thoughts, feedback, experiences, or anything if you enjoyed the post. So, as we discussed in the first part, the first meetings that arranged at the home were uncomfortable events. But there was no excuse. It was a mandatory thing to arrange those meetings at home and had to go in front of them by wearing another uncomfortable stuff.

As this mission was launched at our home and my uncle's home, they visited me according to the nearest location they lived. I can remember that some of them were discouraged from visiting for many girls in various places in our country. I think they could arrange trips on the same journey. At least they could have some snaps if that did not work. Lol... So, some parents wanted to start the second step "getting to know each other" before arranging this visit ritual. If it worked only, they planned to visit the girl. That was their plan. 

However, it was not the decision of all. But gradually our parents adhered to some flexible arrangements. I think it was enough for them as the arrangements are done at the home required some sort of preparation. So, in such a situation the meetings arranged at places like Pizza hut, Macdonalds, etc.. Most of the time one of my cousin sisters joined with me to meet them. These meetings did not have much pressure. They did not come with family members and all the relatives. It was a great relief. As my cousin sister was there, we could start our conversation in a friendly and informal way. However, it was an uncomfortable situation as both the parties are strangers to each other. I can remember one guy was sweating and he could not manage the conversation. So, when I felt that they were in an uncomfortable situation, I used to think about my appearance, behavior, clothes, hair, and all at that moment. Lol... So, it was an additional thinking process.

Sometimes, all of my cousins joined me when one of them knew the boy. In such cases, all of us went out for lunch or dinner with that guy. They did not forget to appreciate me though it made me embarrassed. Still, I can remember the way they looked at me when I was behaving in an inappropriate way that could reduce his interest. Lol... Some cases did not work at all. It was just a meeting. But some cases could keep the second step after going through the first meet up well.

I think most of the cases went wrong due to miscommunication. Some guys did not have enough free time to talk, and sometimes it happened from my end. It was not possible to have a long chat during office hours, and those days office hours also ended up in the night. Sometimes, I could not check whether they had their breakfast, lunch, and dinner before having my meal. Sometimes, I forgot and sometimes I felt kind of artificial feeling. I could do it as a tradition or a rule to win them. But it did not come through me as an honest feeling to care about them. 

Sometimes, I forgot to inform the late hour works. They wanted a very attaching lifestyle that cannot be lived in real life. I think sometimes such a lifestyle can be handled before the marriage. But I didn't think that it is possible to keep the same level after the marriage. Then each one would start to see the difference. There was such a marriage proposal, and sometimes I scheduled the messages. I sent a message before sleep, and schedule my "Good morning" message. Lol...

On the other hand, some guys did not want such caring and they wanted their freedom. It was enough to have one call per day and such a caring routine disturbed them. So, it was not possible at all to contact them in the day time for anything. I did not want to follow such guys at all due to my ego. So, none of us won, but the ego did. Lol... However, I appreciate such guys, as they show their real qualities from the beginning.

The main issue I had in these marriage proposals is the nature of artificial feelings. Sometimes, some guys felt love, kindness, caring, and all within a few days, and I was not ready to accept. I did not think that it is possible and still, I believe that it is something that needs to be developed with time, and qualities of each. Some of them pointed out the limited time they had for selecting a partner when I was questioning the reasons for such abnormal occurrences. Some people had a queue of girls and they checked one person for certain days and go to the next one. Some guys did it parallelly. Lol...

Apart from all, some guys did all for the marriage proposals as obedient children of their parents. Though they had a love affair with another girl, they did not reveal it to their parents and did whatever their parents wanted to marriage proposals. They visited girls with their parents. They just did it as a drama by running their real love affair. There was such a couple at one of my previous offices. However, I don't understand why they were wasting time and money for many. But they were like that. I let you think even though various answers came to my mind.

However, I think this partner searching process is a pathetic area of our society. I don't know about this situation in other countries. If you check the marriage proposals published in a newspaper, then you can clearly understand it. You will see how do the young lives are oscillating among the different hopes and expectations that they think as requirements for their marriage lives.

I could not forget some incidents of this topic. I would like to prominent my parent's hopes and sacrifices. One day my father prepared dinner for me when I was coming back home from Colombo. He did that for me, as my mother was not well. On that day he prepared many, including noodle to celebrate the confirmation of one marriage proposal. It is just a confirmation made by both sides, and my father was happy about that boy's handsome look. So, he prepared that meal for me from his best abilities. When it is on the table, I got a little from that noodle bowl. I thought it was a jack curry. It has so steamed and could not identify it. Lol...

On another day, he prepared some cutlets. He had to do all because of my mother's situation. At that time, that guy and his parents visited my uncle's home. That location was near to them. So, I asked my father to stay at home as he had to travel. But he came, and he brought the cutlets he prepared for their tea time. Those were dark black and it gave a bitter taste. I felt so sad about my father. 

He made all those sacrifices because of us. So, it is not only my father. If you think a bit you will identify some points that you can highlight. The marriage proposal thing is not a business to exchange two humans. In this matter, we all are dealing with the feelings of each other including parents. 

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