71.0 Remain Angry, & Lose The Peace. The Fire of Anger Sends Its Smoke to the Mind.

All of us are humans. Homo Sapiens. Can this species get angry with others? I know. It is bad. But let's see it as a topic. We will discuss this. Anger! Anger Management! Getting Angry! etc... In the very first paragraph, I would like to question you. How about your status? Do you get angry often? Or seldom? Are you showing it to others, or are you keeping it with you by shutting up your mouth? Come to this open forum, and let's talk about it. You are invited!
 

 

In my childhood, I cannot remember a day when I got angry. In that era, my mother was the person who got angry because of us. Sometimes she could not control her anger. But we did not get angry with her though we felt sad once she punished us. Those days my sister was the key reason for me to get angry. But those cannot point as remarkable feelings because it vanished within a few minutes. 
 
 
Because of that reason, my father asked both of us to behave well. Every morning he advised us as so before leaving home for his job. However, we kept his promise when he was returning home. At the end of the day, we finished our fights, arguments, punishments, and we were working on our painting stuff. Both of us laid down on the floor and painted all our arts and picture books. Therefore, there was a peaceful environment. So, always he came home and said "Hey, it seems to be you two are good girls today." When he gives compliments to us, we did not forget to not to look at our mother. Lol...

 

 

Most of the day, at the end of every fight, my mother said that she has a severe headache because of our endless crazy things and fights. For such every pain, she used pain killers to get rid of it. Therefore, "Headache" was the most common illness, we heard at the end of the day. It was a part of our procedure.

 

School time went well. We did not have pressure for anything except exams. However, it did not go with stress, and I could manage the exam situations without any conflicts on my mind. But when moving to the last two years of school was a bit different. The exam pressure was at the maximum level, and staying in a boarding place also a key reason for that change, I guess. I could say that this time was the beginning of this topic. So, because of this status, I was angry with some of my friends. Though I cannot remember the exact reason, it happened for a silly thing. It was the situation.
 

 

However, it did not bring up to higher studies. It was another joyful era if there were no exams.  So, nothing was there to get angry. Those days one of our lecturers said that "you cannot have a joyful time like this when you move for your career. Working with people is the challenge than your work". She said as so when she was angry with us because of a disciplinary problem of the students. Though it was in my mind because of the way she told us and her facial expressions, I did not care about it as usual.
 

I could say that the job era was the worst period. I know I gained experience and learned a lot. But the status of the mind that needs to be kept in without anger/hatred was the thing I could not manage. There were billions of things to get angry. As she said, people were the main reason and challenge. Some juniors did not work, and some of them had less efficiently. Some seniors gave all the benefits to the team members they like. There were certain conditions for being with them, and it is another topic to discuss. Some people had attitude issues. Some people are unfair. So, the working environment was filled up with reasons for getting angry.

 

So, without control or management, it overwhelmed my mind. I can remember there was a small computer tool that allows hitting the screen using a hammer. For each click, you can see fake cracks on your screen. So, they named it as a tool for anger management. After many clicks, you can see a weird screen that has many cracks. You cannot see any of your desktop icons, documents, or any other program until you exit from that program. However, it was a good tool to forget the anger and focus on something else. 
 

Counting from 10 to 1 is a well-known technique that everybody knows. But those days, it did not work for me, and I could say that tool was a good one up to some extent. With all the cracks of the screen, I could see the ugliness of my mind. Those cracks showed the spoiled status of the mind. So, it was a good tool. The other most important thing is when you are angry, it removed all the other thoughts, and anger is the only thing that you can see. So, those cracks of that tool also revealed the same. You can see only cracks on the screen. Therefore, it was a good comparison to think about anger. 

I never got a benefit from anger, and I hope it is similar to you too. It destroyed the peace of mind, and I hope it is similar to you too. It destroyed our appearance, and that is why our grannies used to say, "don't get angry. You will be ugly". It damages our inner body. The way how it happens is another topic. As an example, I can point out my mother's headache that she had after getting angry for a couple of years. Sometimes, I too have a pain in my forehead area when being with angry feelings for a certain time.  
 

You know about this situation with your different experiences. So, that is why Lord Buddha preached these Dhamma as a universal truth. It does not depend on our religion or nationality. When I was discussing my situation with one of my friends, then she shared these Dhamma sermons with me. I listened to it to find out a good solution. If you have the interest to know more, then you also can listen to these sermons. (You can search the sermons via Maha Sinha Nadaya Ven Thiththagalle Anandasiri Thero). Acceptance or rejection is your choice. But you can listen to it. Good things are the things that hard to do. Anger management also the same! But it is a must for this rare human life. Anger! It is ugly...

“You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger” (Reference: Internet)

 

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67.0 Don’t Let Anything Crash The Peace Of Your Mind. The Guidance To Protect! Stay Safe...

I've been continuing the posts about my amazing (horrible) career journey. But I wanted to come up with this topic because of the bad situation that we are currently facing. You all know that. COVID-19! CORONA! I think it is a suitable topic to discuss as there are many points to share with you all. For the moment all of you know how to avoid it and what are the actions you need to take.

How to wash your hands? How to use Sanitizers? How to maintain social distance, etc…? But do you think about the status of your mind? Are you aware of your thoughts? Is it a mess now? If so, why? I think that is one of the most important things in this situation that we should take care of. It is important to think about your Mind!

How do we prepare our minds to face any situation? However, it is not a skill that you can develop instantly. But still, we are not late. I think we all should start practicing it from this moment onwards. I'm not telling you that I'm a genius. But I'm happy for my mind even though I'm also practicing its skill. At least, I know when a bad thought comes to my mind. I think anger is the main thing. But with this awareness, you can turn it into merits too. That is the benefit. 

However, this Dhamma belongs to the universal truth called Buddhism. It does not depend on your nationality or religion, as it is a universal truth. So, if you wish to think about it further, then you can visit many Dhamma preaching. I learned that valuable truth via the sermons of Ven Thiththagalle Anandasiri Thero. You can search it via "Maha Sinha Nadaya, Ven Thiththagalle Anandasiri Thero". So, it is an additional point. One day you will understand that your bad thoughts are your enemy, and it is the only war that you need to defeat.

As you know, the imbalance between the expectation and the actual current situation is the reason for many mental diseases. We give many names such as stress, anxiety, depression, etc... Those are certain situations that happen according to the amount of that gap. As an example, think about a moment that you get angry with somebody. 

I also had such many situations. Even at this moment also I cannot get rid of it fully. But the way I think about it and face it is the difference I made. So, according to that example, we are getting angry because of that gap. What happens if we can avoid that gap? It is called acceptance. If you can accept the current situation, then there is no gap between your expectations and the current actual situation.

You should try to start with little things. Try to accept the current behaviors of your family members and tell them the correct way by removing that gap in your mind. What is the gap I’m talking about? The gap between the expectation and the actual situation. If you cannot keep them on the correct track, then you change the style of your thinking pattern. Can you change your attitudes or qualities as per your wish? Though you want to do, can you change yourself easily? No, right? You can change your appearance as per your wish. But is it easy to change your inner thoughts? No. It is not. So, if you cannot change yourself, then how can you change others? Thinking in that way is one method. 

The other thing is, you know that all of us have different thinking patterns, appearances, behaviors, qualities, and all have done according to a previous schedule. We were the ones who prepared that plan and schedule in our previous lives in this never-ending cycle of births and rebirths. So, all of us are working accordingly and now we are preparing the schedules of our next lives via our current actions. Therefore, do you believe that you can change someone's schedule? Yes. You can. But up to some extent. So, always think about the peaceful status of your mind. Don't let anybody or anything to crash it.

You might think that how do these points help on this topic. You know that we cannot face an exam, function, wedding, or anything without preparation. The people who are at the top of a particular field have come to those levels via their sacrifices and relevant practices. You can become the genius of something according to the things you have practiced most. 

So, the mind is also like that. It behaves according to our thinking pattern. Therefore, the situation that we are facing now also not a one we expected. It is not our expectation. But it is the current situation. So, that is why I wanted to discuss a bit about that mental gap via the previous paragraph. I added this point to avoid your feeling if you feel it is not required for this topic.

If you can analyze the statistics of deaths in previous years due to diseases, then you will identify one thing. It is the sickness. It is one common thing that every being has to face along with their birth. So, birth, sickness, and death are common to every one of us.

It does not depend on anything. You will be a rich person. But you will be helpless like a beggar in front of death when you got to know that you don't have medicines to buy. So, we should aware of these truths well and we should develop our minds accordingly. As humans, our mind is the great gift we received to perceive this truth. If you can face any horrible situation without worrying, then you are a great hero. 

So, all of us will start removing anger and cravings from our minds. We try to keep it pure without spoiling it. To do that I believe acceptance is the best practice. Take care of yourself and others. Do whatever that requires to get rid of this matter. Adhere to the guidance of health experts. Don't break the medical and disciplinary rules to show that you are not afraid of your death. Please don't be an idiot. Meanwhile, be conscious of your thoughts. Treat your mind well, and take care of it. There is a way to end all this cycle. But for the moment, we should face this situation as humans who have developed mindsets. Be Relax! May Triple Gems Bless You! Stay Safe! Take Care!

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22.0 The Guide For How to Enjoy Shopping And Return Home As Zombies.

It was not an easy thing to shopping with that cousin's sister. Even she bought a small thing, she compared its price with all the other aspects. So, one day I went to about ten shops to buy shoes for her and, I think we covered the whole shoe area. As my legs were painful and, tired like nothing we had our lunch for more than an hour. There was a young boy in a shop we went to and, he was very supportive. 

He brought various shoes from the stock as well when my cousin was asking for different sizes and colors. However, in the end, he was very tired and, at that time he wanted us to leave the shop. Finally, she did not have good things to buy though she looked for many shoes. There were several shoe shops there. So, we went to each and every shop and, again, we came to that same shop using another door. The best thing was, he told us 'You all already came here' by looking at our next visit. At that time, we were laughing, but that boy did not even laugh a bit. I think we ended up his entire day and, it was enough for him. He might think that he did not want any more customers like us. Especially my cousin's sister.

In the other incident, sometimes we could have been beaten and, it also happened when I was shopping with that cousin's sister. However, we were lucky to save our lives and return home. On that day, we went to a shopping complex and, bought some clothes. As we wanted to wear and see, we went to fit-on rooms. There were a few chairs to sit and, a boy was sitting over there. He was waiting for his girlfriend and, at that time she was in the fit-on room. So, both of us also sat and waited as all the rooms occupied. Shortly that girl came out with a tight blouse and, asked comments from his boyfriend. However, that boy loved her outfit, and he said that 'Wowww baby, it's really nice for you. Meanwhile, we thought that she won't be able to breathe even. She adjusted her blouse a few times and, looked at the mirror. I thought she did not like that choice. So, she asked for his feedback again. But his response was the same. He said that it should be the selection. We hardly managed their drama at that time, and we could not stop our laugh with his last comment. Then that girl went to the fit-on-room again and, we two kept on laughing like nothing. It made that boy angry and, he looked at us like a devil. We could not look at him and, then we moved out without checking our clothes also. If we waited there for another few minutes, he would blame or hit us. 

As we could not stay there for a long time, we went to another shop in the same shopping complex. Actually, I do not know why we could not manage our laugh. We laughed like crazy fellows. After a few minutes, they also came there. At that time, I did not look at my cousin's face and, we went to two different sections as well to manage the situation. However, we could not stop it at all and, that boy gave his devil look. He was very angry with us, and it increased more when he was looking at our fun and smiley faces. Also at that point, we moved to another section, as his look scared both of us. Unfortunately, we met them in another few shops and, they came to the food court as well once we went there. The same thing happened every time and, he gave his devil look when we were laughing. After that, we thought to leave that shopping complex and, came out to take a taxi. So, there was a higher probability of a murder case or a fight. The thing was we did not forget to laugh and, he did not forget to give that devil look every time we met each other. 


However, his girlfriend was expressionless, and she did not take any action. I think she was intelligent and, she might think that all of us were crazy fellows including his boyfriend also. However, we did the wrong thing and, we should not laugh for other's matters. It is none of our business at all. If it's good for them, why do we worry? However, we had a severe problem of laughing even for serious matters and, those days some of our elders warned us several times. 

Another similar incident happened when I went out with my friend after class. We wanted to buy a printer cartridge and, after that, we did window shopping. Those days it was one of our lovely hobbies. So, we looked at many shops all over the directions. We tried to look at shops on other floors as well. 

Suddenly I knocked over a girl and, the ice-cream she eats was falling down. I did not see her and, there was ice-cream in my shoes as well. It was a very messy incident. Her boyfriend was also there. Though I begged for her excuse, she was very angry with me. So, I said sorry for a few times. But it did not work, and she stares at me like a witch. Her boyfriend also asked her to move. But she did not listen to him. So, we left them without her response. After going a few miles, I looked back again. At that time also, she was staring at us. Then my friend said that they might afford a lot for their ice-cream as foods in that food court were expensive.

There are many shopping memories with my cousin sister. One day we went to a book exhibition and, it was an annual exhibition. Most of the people would like to buy books from this exhibition. You can see the crowd with the youngest to the eldest age ranges. There were many and, most of the time it got more crowded in the last few days of the exhibition. So, we two went to many shops and, bought a few books at that moment. When we were going over there, we saw a shop which sells books for a fifty percent discount. That place was crowded like nothing and, all of them tried to buy books from that shop. So, my cousin's sister also wanted to go there even though I did not want to. 


You know that I do not like crowded places because of that bus incident that happened in my school days. But she held my hand and, dragged me to that shop. However, I could not handle her hand among the crowd and, we separated. At that time, she held the hand of another boy without looking at him and, she thought that it's me. I was laughing like an idiot, and I saw that the boy was trying to get rid of my sister. He was a small fellow and shorter than my sister. After a few minutes, she noticed that the hand she was holding was dragged back in the other direction. Then she looked back and, realized that it's not my hand. It was a shame for her and, she did not want to go to that shop anymore.

When I was coming back home from Colombo, I used to go to at least two shops. I had to take two buses and, once I reached the first part of the destination, I went to a few shops. Most of the time, I had some needs to buy something. Therefore, I took more time to return home as well. The other main problem I had was forgetting the things I wanted after entering into the shopping complex. If I could not bring the list, it happened to me and, I always came with something else that I did not think to buy. 

One day I went shopping alone and, it was not a planned journey. I just wanted to go there by seeing some clothes displayed in the outside dummies. However, finally, I was in the bag section and, there was a nice collection of various types of bags. There were so many beautiful items that I could not imagine what to pick. At that time, that section was not crowded. A foreign couple also was in that section and, that lady was selecting a handbag. After a few minutes, I heard a sound like 'Takas' and, I just figured out something broke. But I did not look back and, continued my selection. So, after a few minutes, that foreign lady came to me and, asked me to open the bag which kept in her hand. According to the way she held the bag and, that 'Takas' sound did not allow me to do that. I thought that she was going to transfer the fault she did when she was trying to open that bag. I assumed that its lock has broken. So, I rejected her request kindly and, asked her to go to a sales-girl who was over there. But she did not go to her. So, it confirmed my assumption. After that, they left that section by keeping that bag there. I did not touch it even.

Later on, I got to know the way we are building up our next ego according to the way we react to the things we see, hear and feel after listening for a "Maha Sinha Nada" Dhamma sermon of Venerable 'Thiththagalle Anandasiri Thero. Actually, I do not know specific Dhamma words to describe it further with you. Basically, if we could see a particular thing and, give up further thoughts we have on that object, then it is a merit. The same logic applies to the things we hear and feel as well. Our next ego builds up according to the thoughts we have now. Now we are also building our next ego by capturing the things via our eyes, ears, tongue, body, and mind. However, this sermon describes the deep concepts of 'Nibbana' in Buddha Dhamma. Dhamma Sermon.

So, I'm trying to keep the mind in a middle position which avoids attractions or sorrows for whatever matter. However, it is not an easy thing to do and, it is kind of a war between you and your thoughts. Sometimes, you may not agree with this concept. However, you can see the relief or relaxation of your mind when giving up your thoughts without thinking further on any object or matter. It would be food, clothes, your spouse, car or anything. It is the concept of living in the current moment without thinking about the past or future. It helps you to concentrate on the things you are working in the present moment.

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