64.0 We Are Dealing With Feelings Of All…It Is Not A Business Negotiation

When getting back to the second part of this topic, I was confused, and don't know where to start. As you know, this is a horrible topic. Lol... However, I would like to reveal all the crazy stuff with you. You also can share your thoughts, feedback, experiences, or anything if you enjoyed the post. So, as we discussed in the first part, the first meetings that arranged at the home were uncomfortable events. But there was no excuse. It was a mandatory thing to arrange those meetings at home and had to go in front of them by wearing another uncomfortable stuff.

As this mission was launched at our home and my uncle's home, they visited me according to the nearest location they lived. I can remember that some of them were discouraged from visiting for many girls in various places in our country. I think they could arrange trips on the same journey. At least they could have some snaps if that did not work. Lol... So, some parents wanted to start the second step "getting to know each other" before arranging this visit ritual. If it worked only, they planned to visit the girl. That was their plan. 

However, it was not the decision of all. But gradually our parents adhered to some flexible arrangements. I think it was enough for them as the arrangements are done at the home required some sort of preparation. So, in such a situation the meetings arranged at places like Pizza hut, Macdonalds, etc.. Most of the time one of my cousin sisters joined with me to meet them. These meetings did not have much pressure. They did not come with family members and all the relatives. It was a great relief. As my cousin sister was there, we could start our conversation in a friendly and informal way. However, it was an uncomfortable situation as both the parties are strangers to each other. I can remember one guy was sweating and he could not manage the conversation. So, when I felt that they were in an uncomfortable situation, I used to think about my appearance, behavior, clothes, hair, and all at that moment. Lol... So, it was an additional thinking process.

Sometimes, all of my cousins joined me when one of them knew the boy. In such cases, all of us went out for lunch or dinner with that guy. They did not forget to appreciate me though it made me embarrassed. Still, I can remember the way they looked at me when I was behaving in an inappropriate way that could reduce his interest. Lol... Some cases did not work at all. It was just a meeting. But some cases could keep the second step after going through the first meet up well.

I think most of the cases went wrong due to miscommunication. Some guys did not have enough free time to talk, and sometimes it happened from my end. It was not possible to have a long chat during office hours, and those days office hours also ended up in the night. Sometimes, I could not check whether they had their breakfast, lunch, and dinner before having my meal. Sometimes, I forgot and sometimes I felt kind of artificial feeling. I could do it as a tradition or a rule to win them. But it did not come through me as an honest feeling to care about them. 

Sometimes, I forgot to inform the late hour works. They wanted a very attaching lifestyle that cannot be lived in real life. I think sometimes such a lifestyle can be handled before the marriage. But I didn't think that it is possible to keep the same level after the marriage. Then each one would start to see the difference. There was such a marriage proposal, and sometimes I scheduled the messages. I sent a message before sleep, and schedule my "Good morning" message. Lol...

On the other hand, some guys did not want such caring and they wanted their freedom. It was enough to have one call per day and such a caring routine disturbed them. So, it was not possible at all to contact them in the day time for anything. I did not want to follow such guys at all due to my ego. So, none of us won, but the ego did. Lol... However, I appreciate such guys, as they show their real qualities from the beginning.

The main issue I had in these marriage proposals is the nature of artificial feelings. Sometimes, some guys felt love, kindness, caring, and all within a few days, and I was not ready to accept. I did not think that it is possible and still, I believe that it is something that needs to be developed with time, and qualities of each. Some of them pointed out the limited time they had for selecting a partner when I was questioning the reasons for such abnormal occurrences. Some people had a queue of girls and they checked one person for certain days and go to the next one. Some guys did it parallelly. Lol...

Apart from all, some guys did all for the marriage proposals as obedient children of their parents. Though they had a love affair with another girl, they did not reveal it to their parents and did whatever their parents wanted to marriage proposals. They visited girls with their parents. They just did it as a drama by running their real love affair. There was such a couple at one of my previous offices. However, I don't understand why they were wasting time and money for many. But they were like that. I let you think even though various answers came to my mind.

However, I think this partner searching process is a pathetic area of our society. I don't know about this situation in other countries. If you check the marriage proposals published in a newspaper, then you can clearly understand it. You will see how do the young lives are oscillating among the different hopes and expectations that they think as requirements for their marriage lives.

I could not forget some incidents of this topic. I would like to prominent my parent's hopes and sacrifices. One day my father prepared dinner for me when I was coming back home from Colombo. He did that for me, as my mother was not well. On that day he prepared many, including noodle to celebrate the confirmation of one marriage proposal. It is just a confirmation made by both sides, and my father was happy about that boy's handsome look. So, he prepared that meal for me from his best abilities. When it is on the table, I got a little from that noodle bowl. I thought it was a jack curry. It has so steamed and could not identify it. Lol...

On another day, he prepared some cutlets. He had to do all because of my mother's situation. At that time, that guy and his parents visited my uncle's home. That location was near to them. So, I asked my father to stay at home as he had to travel. But he came, and he brought the cutlets he prepared for their tea time. Those were dark black and it gave a bitter taste. I felt so sad about my father. 

He made all those sacrifices because of us. So, it is not only my father. If you think a bit you will identify some points that you can highlight. The marriage proposal thing is not a business to exchange two humans. In this matter, we all are dealing with the feelings of each other including parents. 

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