12.0 It's All About Painful Thoughts - Pet Fish .

To become a proud owner of a fish tank with various and colorful fish was one of my dreams. I had to face for memorable incidents to maintain my hobby. However, I lost my interest also due to some of the incidents.

As a hobby, I wanted to maintain a fish tank in my childhood. I thought that it was necessary to bring a fish tank, but my parents did not like it. They said that it’s not an easy task as it takes an additional effort to clean and, need to keep away from our cats. But I said that I wanted some small fish called ‘Guppy’ to be placed even in a small pot. But they did not agree to bring a fish tank and, they were in the same beliefs.

But somehow, I thought to bring some colorful fish to keep in a fish tank and be the owner of a fish tank. It was a dream for me. That’s why I told my idea to school friends. Then one of my friends said that she could bring some from her fish tank and, she said that she has some colorful fish. I was very happy. So, once I came home, I searched for a suitable jar to keep my pets and, I could find out a small pot. Though there were some big pots, I could not take them as my mother was using them for cooking. She planted some flowers in old pots. 

So, that friend lived near our school. One day she agreed with me to bring them after school and, I waited for her. After a few minutes, she came with my dream and, I was so cheerful as I have been waiting for this moment for a long time ago. 

So, after that, I had to spend some more time to find out a bus with less crowd to bring my pets home safely. Anyhow, my dream fulfilled. I could bring them home safely and, as the first thing, I put them into the pot carefully. My friend gave some hydrilla plants with fish and, because of her kind donation, now my fish pot looks more colorful. It consists of different colors like red, orange, yellow, blue and green. But there were few drawbacks. One thing was, the fish are in a pot, not in a tank. We could not see them from outside as that pot was not transparent as glass. The way of using their small, colorful tails to swim could not see via this pot. As well as I thought they are not comfortable with my accommodation. But there was no clue for a fish tank as others did not like this job.

However, I was happy that my idea has gone well. My main task was to look at my pets as soon as I got up early morning, returned home from school, and before going to bed. 

My friend also regularly asked about the status of my pets. She was the one who taught me to feed them and, I followed up her instructions accurately. But one day I saw some of the dead bodies of fish ‘Sari Gappi’ and, they were floating on the water. It shocked me and, it was an unexpected situation for me. So, I could not imagine that the mistake I have done for their deaths. Sometimes it could be a problem in the pot. Then I told this problem to my friend and, she asked me to put some cubes of salt into the fish tank. But after a few days, I saw a few more have died and floated in the water. As I could not throw them away, I dug a small hole in the yard and kept them.   

     

So, after that, I kept on asking for a new fish tank and, I told that I wanted to keep others alive. I could remember that I troubled a lot for my parents. Then my father brought a small fish tank. After that, I prepared that tank by keeping the tank in salt water for a day to avoid any more deaths. Now, that problem was over and, I felt that my pets are happy now.  As there were a few more left, I talked to my friend and asked whether she can give new fish for my new tank. She liked to give some fish without any hesitation and, she also worried about the loss of my innocent pets. As well as she said that the same pathetic incident won’t happen as now, they are in a suitable place to live. So, this time my friend asked me to come to her home to bring the fish. I agreed with her, but I did not tell my parents. I knew their decision and planned to go there without their permission. 

On that day I went with her after school. We ran from the very beginning as my parents used to find me if I got late. We ran with our maximum effort. I thought that I could run if I did not have a big bag and a bottle. But I had to run with all those stuff. After a few miles, I fell down by hitting something in the road. 

There were few wounds in both my arms and legs as I fell down on a Tar road. It was the main road. There were some wounds in my legs and arms and, all were very painful. That weird and horrible look could make two of us mad. I did not cry because of too much fear and, my friend was so silent at that time. There was a house near that place and, an aunt and a small girl saw this incident. At the same time, that aunt tried to put some medicine into my wounds by looking at wounded legs and arms. My school uniform also got damaged. But I was afraid to put medicine as my parents were not there. And I knew how hard to bear up the pain of medicine. So, that aunt gave some cotton and, I kept on the wounds. It helped me to reduce the pain a bit at that moment and hide the blood. My friend was so scared and, she said that she could drop me on a bus. So, she waited with me for a bus. Meanwhile, we saw that my friend’s mother was coming to us as she was late.

Even we ran to reduce the delay as much as possible, now almost one hour was over. My main concern was how to answer the questions once I returned home and, it was more painful than my wounds. I knew that I may have to answer lots of questions. I was thinking about all those and reached home.  

Once I went home, my mother afraid a lot and my father was not at home at that time. I said that I fell down on the school ground when I was playing with some friends. Then it was the time to do the scariest task and, my mother was ready to put some medicine for my wounds. The cotton has stuck to the wounds with blood and, it was not an easy task to remove back. That was the worst wound that I have ever faced. Who knows these things before?. I could not bear up the pain once my mother was cleaning my wounds. It hurt me a lot and, it was painful like nothing. At that time I experienced the most painful moment as a child. As I have screamed a lot, one of the grannies in our neighborhood came to see what was happening in our home. I saw tears in her eyes too by looking at me. When my mother was putting medicine to my wounds, it made me crazy and, I screamed a lot. She told me that she would like to put more medicine than this stuff if I come across similar situations in the future. Later on, she cleaned my wounds when I was bathing and blamed me by reminding the silly things I did. So, I was like a beggar who has covered legs and arms with wounds. There were tears in my eyes for a few days because of the pain in both of my body and heart. 

Everyone asked what happened to me and for everyone, I said that I fell down on the ground. A few days later, my sister asked, 'You are lying. Right... She said that one of her friends told her that one girl fell down in front of their house and, that girl had a water bottle like a drum. 

Additionally, she said that her mother gave cotton for wounds. So, the water bottle was the suspicious thing for my sister and, that’s why she knew that I was lying. So, I got to know that the small girl was a friend of our satellite sister. However, I kept on telling that I fell down on the ground and, asked her to stop saying nonsense. But she did not accept and used to ask the same thing again and again for a couple of days.

After that, I lost my interest in my hobby. Even though my friend asked to bring some fish, I told that I don’t want them now and postponed. After a few days, the few fish left behind also died. Therefore, I didn’t want them anymore as it brought some painful memories via dead fish and my wounds. 

Time went fast and, again I thought to bring some fish to my fish tank. This time no one rejected my idea and, at that time they knew that I could take responsibility. So, this time I bought a big fish tank and colorful fish from another place. That place was selling fish for money. I got to know about this place from my friend and, it was the place where she also used to buy fish. So, those days it was my pleasure and hobby to see the way of swimming colorful fish in my tank. I enjoyed their behavior a lot. I used to clean the fish tank and therefore, it does not make trouble for others. Anyway, I also did not let others clean the tank after I lost a few small fish once my father cleaned the tank. Mistakenly, some of them had gone once he threw away the water from the tank. Step by step I added some gadgets like water motor, swimmers and some plastic stuff with colorful stones to make my tank more beautiful. So, it was fun for me to decorate the fish tank.

One day we bought a fish called ‘Catfish’ once we four went out of the home. It was a kind of fish who was changing the size of the body, according to the nature of the environment. His pet name was ‘Cattah'. 

As an example, if they lived in a big tank or a pool, they would be big buddies more than a normal one. So, the color of this fish was dark ash and, there was a silver line in his stomach area. I think it added some value to his beauty. Even though we were about forty kilometers far away, I brought him home very carefully. My father asked whether I can bring him carefully because of this distance. I thought to bring him once I got the opportunity and, I did not like to miss it. So, I said yes and brought my new pet carefully even though it was a hard task with the support of my sister. Their behavior was mischievous when they got scared. So, he scared a few times and, we also got scared all the time with him. Once he came, he was our new pet and, he brightened the tank. He looked like a ship in the sea and was the biggest fish in our tank. Later on, he used to jump out of the tank and, that was the main problem we had with him. It was not an easy task to catch him back. Once he jumped out from the tank, only me or father could place him back. My sister or mother was not able to do that as they scared to touch his slimy body. So, I bought a new roof for my fish tank and put some weight on top of the roof to protect my pet.

The biggest challenge was to take him out when cleaning the tank. As a best practice, we kept our cat in a locked room before taking 'Cattah' from the fish tank. However, I needed someone else supports to take him out and put him back. So, after a couple of years, he became a big buddy and, our tank was not enough for him. Therefore, I had to think about another good place for his accommodation. So, we brought him to our father’s younger brother’s house and kept him in their pond as it was a big one where our pet could live comfortably. As well, I did not want to worry about his safety as it was our relatives' place and, I could see him anytime I want. Even though it made me a bit sad, I had to do that for the sake of his happiness. He lived for about ten years. So, after that, again, my interest went out and, I did not want to keep fish as my pets. Therefore, I brought the rest of the fish to the same pond and pulled out my fish tank.

Maybe you remember the image of salmon tin and, it was a fish. I always remembered my ‘Cattah, once I saw this image. So, this happened when I was eating salmon as well. 

Then I stopped eating salmon. However, at that time I stopped eating meat and was half-vegetarian.

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