60.0 If You Don't Love Them Now, You'll Hate Yourself Later. A Million Lessons About Parent's Love You Need To Know Before You Die.

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First of all, I would like to wish you a Happy New Year 2020!

I wish this new year brings you success, joy, love, and peace. Though we need the success of everything, I believe the development of good thoughts in our mind is the most important thing that we all should do as humans. We may arrange parties; we may wear new clothes to welcome the new year. But, how many of us wanted to clean our spirits by removing bad qualities we have. In this new year dawn, I thought to improve the spiritual side of life. 

Apart from that, I thought not to discuss the bad side of people, though they filled up with many bad qualities.  I know it is not an easy effort. But we should try at least to gain the benefits of humanity. Apart from that, some developments are required for my career. I hope you all have many hopes and plans for this new year. I wish you a happy new year again!

In this new year dawn, I would like to bring you some important memories I have about a parent's love. Sometimes, you may be a parent now. Though you are either a parent or child, I hope this article will be a sensitive one for you all. Sometimes, it will bring joy as well as tears for your eye. You will think about the lovely memories you have.

Some parents are showing love to their children. But some of them do not do that. Though their hearts filled with lots of love, they do not show it to their children. My parents are a hybrid version of these two. Lol... My mother does not show it and my father is the one who shows it to us. So, in certain cases we thought that our mother did not love us. He he he... But later on, I thought that it was a wrong thought. At that time, she was in the hospital for heart surgery. At that time, I just have moved to my higher studies after school education. So, she had to stay there for a few weeks. It was a hard time for me, my father and my sister. We were afraid of her surgery. Time to time all of us went to visit her. Once done, she was taken to the hospital ward. But she could not talk well because of the pain.

On that day I went to visit her alone. It was evening time. Though I went there by bus, I did not know the place to take a bus to come back. So, when I was asking about the route from one of my uncles, she was listening to it. Then she asked that uncle to drop me to the bus halt without letting me go alone. She took an effort to communicate it and she repeated the same a few times. It made me sad. Though I asked her to stop talking, it was not her pain. She worried about the problem I had at that time. When I was telling this to one of my friends, she could not talk, and tears came to her eye.

If I tell you about my father, he was the one who did everything for my success. He was our shadow. He was with us for everything. When my mother was doing all the home stuff without giving to us, my father provided guidance and financial support. If he earned one penny, it was for his children, us. He did not spend money on himself. He was the one who prepared a lot for our journey of success. He planned for it than us.

When I was starting my own thing as a career, he had many plans. He wanted to allocate a separate space from the new house that we are building now. When I was telling him that I do not require such a space for my work, I got to know that he allocated that space by imagining a higher success level in my career. It brought a smile to me. But he was serious.

In the early era of my career, I had to go for many interviews to find out a suitable job. When I was going for job interviews, he came with me for each interview. Sometimes, he waited for five to six hours in the vehicle. But he did not worry about it though I asked him to don’t wait. When I was going on a school trip I stayed in a boarding house at that time. We were planning to leave in the early morning. Before we leave, he came to drop me to school and brought lunch as well. To prepare it, I think my mother should wake up around 3.00 a.m. It was their sacrifice for their children. Though there were no more than 100 meters to school from the boarding place, he wanted to make sure it as a safe journey.

They were happy with our achievements. They encouraged us when there were failures. They had good points to encourage us, and they never blamed for the failures. I can remember the happiness in my father's eyes when I was using a laptop for my work. I could see a proud father. However, it changed soon, as I stuck to it for my job work and studies. Lol...

I saw many proud parents during my lifetime. I saw their proudness in the success of their children. One day I went to a shop to buy some stuff, and we know that family well. It was a small business a few years back, and they developed it gradually with their effort. When it was a small business, the father of that family managed the cashier and his wife issued the goods to the customers. They have a few kids, and we could see them once we went there.  

When I was going there after that development, I saw that his daughter was managing the cashier role. Her parents stayed at the shop by helping her. That girl did her job well, and her parents happily worked with her. It was a happy unit. They arranged a nice table and chair for her to do her work. It was a modern cashier room. I also felt happy for them. At that time, I thought about the happiness that parents have for her daughter. It was a memorable scenery. At that time, I remembered how my parents arranged a nice table and chair for my studies after taking good grades for all the subjects for one school term examination.

Recently I saw how parents celebrate the success of their children who passed the Advance level examination well. Some students explained the parent's effort for their success. One student said that his father skipped some meals, and gave to him. He starved for his son. That was their effort. I think nobody could listen to that talk without tears, and it was a sensitive story.

I think such a sacrifice can be done by parents only. None of them in this world exists to light up the children's life path by protecting them. They are the one who was removing barriers of our paths. I have read a story about their love. In that story, they gave a tree as an example. That tree gives food and shelter to their kids. Time to time it offers leaves and wood as medicine and other support. Once it decayed, it lets the human to sell the wood by cutting that tree after offering food and shelter. It was the final help. It was a really good example of a parent's love. They give till their last blood drop to their children.

20.0 Have Fun In Your Tough Times And Collect Memories To Remind Later.

Even it was a tough time, there were certain advantages of staying in a boarding place also. At boarding place, I learned to manage my own stuff and work alone. It was not an easy task in the beginning and, it was additional pressure for me with the studies sometimes. Maintaining the school uniform was such a big job that I had those days and, I learned to iron it well by arranging the pleats. 

It was not my job when I was going to school from home. So, in the learning curve, I could not keep my school uniform neatly. Therefore, there was one friend in the boarding place to help me with this, especially when I had a special event or something in the school. She did that favoritism to me without my request. However, she used to blame everyone when she was working at that job. Lol...

As well as she used to arrange the mosquito net and, cover us once we went to sleep without the mosquito net. I heard that she was blaming us as a dream and she used to continue her talks once we got up in the morning as well. Then what I said was 'I did not ask you to do it, buddy. Then it increased her anger and, she said 'If I did not do that, then the mosquitoes will bring you to the hell men. After that you will come with more diseases and, it would annoy us more. Don't talk nonsense and do not forget to arrange the mosquito net before going to sleep. You are like a bladdy drug-addicted fellow when you feel sleepy. I do not understand you all'. Later on, it was fun for us to hear her mosquito net song in the morning.

One day she came to guide the root when I had a tuition class at a place where I did not know the way to go. Because of her kindness, she was like a mother to us. Though she blamed us several times, her union was a great pleasure for us. We had a warm feeling and felt secure when she was at the boarding place. She was a kind-hearted fellow. We had contacts with each other for a couple of years after leaving the boarding place also. Later on, we lost our contacts when moving with higher studies and jobs. I think now she is working as a nurse in a government hospital. Once I got to know that, I was happy and, I thought it is the best job for her. 

The other person was the one who took responsibility for any work. She was also like an elder sister for us and, she was a crazy fellow. She could work as a boy. She had the technical knowledge and, repaired many broken electrical items in the boarding place. Therefore, she was a useful resource for aunty, though she did not care for her much. In such situations, we could recognize the auntie’s fake voice. 

Some days we did not have water in the pipe when there were renovations. So, she was the one who brought water from the well. Though we also did it, she took the responsibility and supplied water for the kitchen and bathroom. The funny thing out of here was, she had to go to the toilet a few times when there was no water. So, our mother in the boarding place asked her to save water and, she pointed out as a mental issue. 

However, in mid of these little battles, all of us were like siblings than friends. Therefore, we exchanged our clothes with each other as well. She liked one of the skirts I had and, she wore it for tuition classes than me I think. One day she went to watch a movie with her few friends and, on that day, she wore my skirt. However, she could not go to the movie hall as she met one of our school teachers in the nearby place. Watching a movie was only allowed with certain conditions, according to the rules of our school. Therefore, she had to come back without going there, and she said that she lost that opportunity because of my skirt.  

Another fellow was 'Hotta' and, we gave that nickname to her as she suffered from cold in most of the days. 'Vaas' was another nice name of her and, 'Vaas' was her favorite cricketer. She loved that nickname. She gave that name to one pillow as well, and her younger sister threw away that pillow when there was a fight with them. Those days, she was the one who had problems in love affairs. One boy was following up with her for a long time and, she could not make a decision. So, she had different views on each day. Sometimes she hated him, and sometimes she wanted. Though we gave several bits of advice and pointed out our views, later on, all of us were tired to think about her problem. So, we asked her to do whatever she wishes.

There's nothing to say about the other people. They were normal.

There was a lot of laughter in the boarding house and, today I could take this topic for my blog because of those incidents. One day there was a pageant in the night and, aunty was busy with many works. A few of her friends came on that day and, aunty gave dinner for all of them. It was a fun day for all of us also. That night we had many junk foods while watching the pageant. We bought some big balloons which give sounds like 'Chili Chili. Later on, we hanged those balloons in our beds.

The biggest challenge that aunty had was to keep us in her eyesight, and she saw that a few boys were looking at us. Most of them looked at our friend's younger sister, and she was the beauty queen. Some of us received chits with contact details from a few boys. One guy looked at me and said that it's pointless to share his details with me as I had short hair. At that time, I cut my hair like a boy and, I received similar comments from boys several times. 

So, aunty arranged dinner for her friends on a high scale, and it was a good dinner for us also. She arranged fried rice, string hoppers and bread with some salads. Apart from these items, there were a few desserts as well. Most of the curries were non-veg. Therefore, she prepared a small portion of veg curry only for me also. Auntie loved me more than everyone in the boarding house and, I did not know the reason. Though I broke some small rules, she did not shout at me. If the same thing happened with others, she did not excuse them and, sometimes she informed their parents also. I had zero inquiries, I think. She worried about my food pattern and, discussed it with my parents once they came. 

Once my father came to the boarding place, he called me instead of aunty. But she did not care about it and, she also yelled and said 'Hey, your parents came to visit you. She did not accept it with many people. However, I asked my father not to do it again. Though my mother also advised the same, it did not work.

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10.0 Nannies! We Made Them Crazy & Now They Are Horrible...

I think the nannies could make an impact on kids as they are the people who surrounded in kids for a whole day. As per the scientist view, the first five years of a child is the foundation for the rest of their life. The child used to capture everything as they do not have decision making power to make a choice. So, the family environment and family members should be good enough to offer the best to them. My grandfather always said that I had a good background during my childhood. Later on, I understood his view as an adult. However, I had both good and bad experiences with our nannies during my childhood. This story tells about them.

Time to time there were a few caretakers during our childhood to look after us as parents were not at home in the daytime. So, there was someone at our home until I turned around seven to eight-year-old. There were some ladies in different age groups. Some of them like our aunts while others were like our grannies. The one who mentioned as ‘Renuka’ in my previous article was such a lovely person. So, among them, there were a few who liked us well and, there were many who disliked us as we were not obedient kids.

I can tell you that this person rolled out many changes in our lives. However, we cannot directly point out their mistakes, when thinking about nasty behaviors we had as little ones. So, one nanny used to get my support for her work when my parents were not at home. She asked me to work on some tasks. I don’t know why I didn’t make any complaint against this situation which had been happening from a reasonable time. Sometimes that might be the skills of that person. 

She asked me to take the clothes from outside at rainy times and, asked me to hang them back when the rain was over. That was one main duty I had those days and, I obeyed with such advice well. As well as she asked me to clean the stuff once my sister finished playing. I had to keep the toys in order. Meantime I had to help for her love affair as well while doing these small jobs. It was like this. In those days our home was on a roadside and, that boy worked with some road renovations. He was a pleasant and fair boy who had curly hair. His smile also an attractive one. I think that smile made him more attractive and added value to him. As I remember, I saw this boy when we were flying kites via our window. When we were flying kites, our small kite fell down and, he helped us to get it back. On another day also, we saw him again when we play near that window. Now he became a friend and, always he offered his friendly smile for us even though he didn’t talk with us. So, one day I got another duty from my take carer and, she asked me to ask his name. I also did the job well without any hesitation and, it was a pleasure for me as well at that time.

However, now I do not remember what the name was but it was the first step of that love story, I think. That's what happened, of course. That's why we spent most of the time near the window by playing and flying kites as per our nanny’s wish. As we didn’t inform this to our mother, this went well without any hindrance. As little ones, we also did not see any specialty to tell my mother. However, this was not a secret anymore as my mother caught up when she was trying to exchange some letters.  Later on, I do not remember what had happened. But that incident was one of the best I can remember with our nannies stuff. 

Later on, there was a big mess because of that nanny and, it created further problems. 

As you know, we loved cats a lot. So, we always used to play with them and pet them when we were playing. But this person did not like cats and, she hated them. She did not want to see them with us. So, every time she tried to keep them away. In one day, this big riot happened once I fed the cats with some biscuits. As well as she complained that she had to clean all the stuff and, it's a never-ending job. Those were certain things she used to blame us. Parallel the never-ending ‘Meaww’ of our cat was a big headache for her. Our one also used to make the trouble even we fed many times. So, one day she tortured the cat and, said that she cannot bear up this trouble anymore. I also got angry by looking at our cat and, my limits were over at that time. As I could not bear up to it anymore, I also hit her and, both of us were very angry at that time. Suddenly, she took the cat and, threw away towards me saying 'Keep this bladdy shit with you. As per the nature of cats, he tried to hang in my body and then his sharp nails wounded me.

So, my sister hit her using the doll in her hand and, it made her angry a lot. When my parents came home, there was a big riot in the home. However, they could get to know some details from our neighbors even though they did not come to visit us when this was going on. Later on, I got to know that they revealed everything and, they told everything about chores I did at home as per her instructions. My mother and my father were very upset about this and, worried a lot as they did not know about this situation before. Finally, what has happened was, that person had to leave us the next day. My father asked her to go home as soon as possible. As well as mother had to stay home and looked after us. It was a loss for her and, she worried about her job for a couple of months. 

There was another lady who used to eat foods reserved for our use. She did not do it as a wrong thing and, did that saying the foods she ate were not good for us. Anyway, I remembered how she had fruits using that manner. We did not ask any more questions from her and let her have. Another one was a granny and, she used to pick us after school. So, every day she came to school. Those days I had a habit of dropping my school friends to their homes. Therefore, I used different routes to come home to do my duty and, it took about an additional half an hour to do this. So, this granny was real trouble for me and, I could not do my hobby when she came to pick me. As a solution, I told my parents that my friends identified her as my own granny and it was ashamed of me. So, I asked them to, not to send her to school. Finally, my parents agreed with me and, they let me come back home with my other school friends as I was in grade four those days. However, my mother could notice the late and again that granny came to pick me.

So, among all these people, ‘Renuka’ was the best lady we ever had. Right now, I don’t know about her. She was a kind and honest person. Apart from that, there was another relative elder sister who loved us and cared about us.

My personal opinion is that looking after a child is not just a job and, the nanny won't be able to do that if she/he does not love kids. I think they should have an inner willingness to correct the mistakes of little ones. To bear up to these things, they should have patience and kind thoughts about children. Otherwise, I think it's not kind of a job which can be done for a monthly payment like other jobs. I can see this situation nowadays by looking at my sister’s little one and his nannies. However, I think that the best people to look after them are their parents and grandparents. According to the childhood experience I had and the things I can see in this environment, I think some other person does not feel honest and loving feeling much. At any moment there is a higher probability for them to make physical or mental harm to little ones.

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