64.0 We Are Dealing With Feelings Of All…It Is Not A Business Negotiation

When getting back to the second part of this topic, I was confused, and don't know where to start. As you know, this is a horrible topic. Lol... However, I would like to reveal all the crazy stuff with you. You also can share your thoughts, feedback, experiences, or anything if you enjoyed the post. So, as we discussed in the first part, the first meetings that arranged at the home were uncomfortable events. But there was no excuse. It was a mandatory thing to arrange those meetings at home and had to go in front of them by wearing another uncomfortable stuff.

As this mission was launched at our home and my uncle's home, they visited me according to the nearest location they lived. I can remember that some of them were discouraged from visiting for many girls in various places in our country. I think they could arrange trips on the same journey. At least they could have some snaps if that did not work. Lol... So, some parents wanted to start the second step "getting to know each other" before arranging this visit ritual. If it worked only, they planned to visit the girl. That was their plan. 

However, it was not the decision of all. But gradually our parents adhered to some flexible arrangements. I think it was enough for them as the arrangements are done at the home required some sort of preparation. So, in such a situation the meetings arranged at places like Pizza hut, Macdonalds, etc.. Most of the time one of my cousin sisters joined with me to meet them. These meetings did not have much pressure. They did not come with family members and all the relatives. It was a great relief. As my cousin sister was there, we could start our conversation in a friendly and informal way. However, it was an uncomfortable situation as both the parties are strangers to each other. I can remember one guy was sweating and he could not manage the conversation. So, when I felt that they were in an uncomfortable situation, I used to think about my appearance, behavior, clothes, hair, and all at that moment. Lol... So, it was an additional thinking process.

Sometimes, all of my cousins joined me when one of them knew the boy. In such cases, all of us went out for lunch or dinner with that guy. They did not forget to appreciate me though it made me embarrassed. Still, I can remember the way they looked at me when I was behaving in an inappropriate way that could reduce his interest. Lol... Some cases did not work at all. It was just a meeting. But some cases could keep the second step after going through the first meet up well.

I think most of the cases went wrong due to miscommunication. Some guys did not have enough free time to talk, and sometimes it happened from my end. It was not possible to have a long chat during office hours, and those days office hours also ended up in the night. Sometimes, I could not check whether they had their breakfast, lunch, and dinner before having my meal. Sometimes, I forgot and sometimes I felt kind of artificial feeling. I could do it as a tradition or a rule to win them. But it did not come through me as an honest feeling to care about them. 

Sometimes, I forgot to inform the late hour works. They wanted a very attaching lifestyle that cannot be lived in real life. I think sometimes such a lifestyle can be handled before the marriage. But I didn't think that it is possible to keep the same level after the marriage. Then each one would start to see the difference. There was such a marriage proposal, and sometimes I scheduled the messages. I sent a message before sleep, and schedule my "Good morning" message. Lol...

On the other hand, some guys did not want such caring and they wanted their freedom. It was enough to have one call per day and such a caring routine disturbed them. So, it was not possible at all to contact them in the day time for anything. I did not want to follow such guys at all due to my ego. So, none of us won, but the ego did. Lol... However, I appreciate such guys, as they show their real qualities from the beginning.

The main issue I had in these marriage proposals is the nature of artificial feelings. Sometimes, some guys felt love, kindness, caring, and all within a few days, and I was not ready to accept. I did not think that it is possible and still, I believe that it is something that needs to be developed with time, and qualities of each. Some of them pointed out the limited time they had for selecting a partner when I was questioning the reasons for such abnormal occurrences. Some people had a queue of girls and they checked one person for certain days and go to the next one. Some guys did it parallelly. Lol...

Apart from all, some guys did all for the marriage proposals as obedient children of their parents. Though they had a love affair with another girl, they did not reveal it to their parents and did whatever their parents wanted to marriage proposals. They visited girls with their parents. They just did it as a drama by running their real love affair. There was such a couple at one of my previous offices. However, I don't understand why they were wasting time and money for many. But they were like that. I let you think even though various answers came to my mind.

However, I think this partner searching process is a pathetic area of our society. I don't know about this situation in other countries. If you check the marriage proposals published in a newspaper, then you can clearly understand it. You will see how do the young lives are oscillating among the different hopes and expectations that they think as requirements for their marriage lives.

I could not forget some incidents of this topic. I would like to prominent my parent's hopes and sacrifices. One day my father prepared dinner for me when I was coming back home from Colombo. He did that for me, as my mother was not well. On that day he prepared many, including noodle to celebrate the confirmation of one marriage proposal. It is just a confirmation made by both sides, and my father was happy about that boy's handsome look. So, he prepared that meal for me from his best abilities. When it is on the table, I got a little from that noodle bowl. I thought it was a jack curry. It has so steamed and could not identify it. Lol...

On another day, he prepared some cutlets. He had to do all because of my mother's situation. At that time, that guy and his parents visited my uncle's home. That location was near to them. So, I asked my father to stay at home as he had to travel. But he came, and he brought the cutlets he prepared for their tea time. Those were dark black and it gave a bitter taste. I felt so sad about my father. 

He made all those sacrifices because of us. So, it is not only my father. If you think a bit you will identify some points that you can highlight. The marriage proposal thing is not a business to exchange two humans. In this matter, we all are dealing with the feelings of each other including parents. 

#blog #blogging #feelings #love #parents #father #mother #marriage #proposals #sacrifice #human #communication #horrible #home #uncle #cousin #visits

63.0 The Reasons... Why You Are Still An Amateur At Marriage Proposals?

As you know, I have a pending list of topics to write as Blog posts. This topic is one of them. When I was preparing that list, this was at the top as I have many things to share with you all. But when I look at it before starting a new post, I did not want to take it. However, today I'm taking that topic and I would like to see your responses. Lol... If you are seeking an arranged marriage, then you would also have such memories. Sometimes I won't be able to finish this by one article. Will see...

The Main Reason for that delay was I felt a bit shy to reveal the incidents of this topic though most of them are fun. But I think that such a reveal can help someone who is working on this matter. Apart from that, I think such a reveal will help me to reduce the view of "I". Though we think that there is a person in our body, that is not the truth. We should be able to think all about these as doctrines that cannot be controlled as per our wish. I know that you will have different views regarding my point. 

However, I'm sharing this according to the Dhamma of Lord Buddha. It is not my invention. It is a Universal Truth. If you think that you have an ego, then think whether you can control your inhale and exhale as per your wish, if you are the owner of this body. So, this truth exists with us and we should perceive it within us via the practice. There should be such a thinking pattern. If you can reveal the mistakes, and silly things you did, then it will help you to reduce the view of "I”. Therefore, I think this reveal helps me to be in that correct track. Think… You will agree with me. However, you can ignore this paragraph and enjoy the rest if you do not agree with that point.

As I did not find a suitable Partner by myself, my parents decided to fulfill their responsibility. Before that, they asked whether I have someone or not. Those days, they used to check my diary. So, once they were asking about this many times, I wrote my diary accordingly to prove my response. Lol... So, they started that mission. It’s a mission. Lol... Lol... You can read This Post as a background on this topic.

 

The Secret Mission! However, they launched their mission secretly. I don't know why? Lol... Though they published a marriage proposal advertisement in the newspaper, they did not tell it to me. Later on, I got to know about that. I saw a piece of paper hidden under the mattress of my mother's bed. I saw that it was about the details of girls/women who were seeking for partners. So, when I was going through a few Advertisements, I saw my one. Lol... Though I cannot remember the content now, I remembered that it made me laugh. So, it was the very first step of their mission. I think they had many hopes. Hmm...

That Dream... Lol! So, it was the beginning of a damn era that critically highlighted the importance of a Marriage. Our friends and some of my cousins also started their new journeys. Therefore, it was a kind of Romantic era where we had many weddings while we were seeking for our opportunity. So, wedding times also benefited to some of my friends. But you know. At that time, I thought that it was not my time. Still, I'm thinking as so. Lol... However, it was kind of a dreamy hope that we had before seeing the marriage lives of friends, and siblings. Lol...

So, though there were many opportunities for me to find out a good fellow, my parents had to continue their mission. Therefore, they published marriage proposals in newspapers. They checked suitable proposals in the Newspaper, and so on. Meantime, they gave my details to some matrimonial organizations and people. Therefore, every weekend, I had to go through their selections and give feedback. Among them, we selected one and my parents decided to contact them.

The First Meeting! After the initial discussion by parents, everything arranged to schedule the first meeting at our home. So, there were many preparations. They prepared various foodstuffs, and I also had to prepare a suitable attire for their visit. It was the most annoying thing as I had to wear a saree as per our traditions. So, once they came, my parents welcomed them and had a small discussion. Then it was my time, and they asked me to meet them. It was the most nervous moment I had in my life. I could not Smile even. It took some time to be a normal human. Once all done, they went, and my parents were happy about him. 

But you know it was not my choice. Lol... Therefore, I kindly gave my feedback when my parents were asking for my feedback. As they kept hopes, it was not their expectation. So, they felt sad. I can remember that my father went to sleep after my response, and I got to know that it made him sad. What to do, guys?

After that, they arranged many similar meetings. I also faced them like a tired dummy. Lol... However, as I could not spend my weekends peacefully, and later on, it became a Headache. Sometimes the way they were questioning or the way they have looked at me also were some reasons for the rejections. Apart from my decisions, some guys did not respond once they left. Such situations made me happy as it did not a reason for me to get my parents' blame. I respected their Decision. Lol...  

My Plan! So, after a few months, I wanted to get rid of these proposals’ thing. Therefore, I started a programming course at the weekend. I requested a small break from my parents and I promised to get back to that matter after finishing that course. Lol... It was a big relief for me. If you know the arrangements and all then, you can understand my situation.

Time went fast, and my parents started their Job again once the requested time was over with that course. Meantime, I got a job as well. So, as I stayed in my uncle's home to go to the office, my parents launched their mission on weekdays also at their home too. Therefore, meetings were scheduled at our homes and my uncles' home. So, it was a Horrible Era where I had to manage my nervous feelings in front of strangers. I think it happened to them also as I was a stranger to them. So, most of the time, both did not smile friendly even. Lol... 

Family Visits! Some guys came with their whole family including parents, siblings, friends, aunts, uncles, and kids. So, such visits look like small gatherings. Lol... Once they came, the entire crowd started to ask questions and some silly things made me angry. In such cases, I gave my response without thinking twice. However, those were very uncomfortable situations, though those are fun memories now. I don't know why did they bring their entire family? Lol...

However, some fellows got friendly with my sisters and cousins. They did not talk to me much and spoke with them like long time Friends. Lol... The same situation happened to one of my cousin sisters as well. One guy came to visit her with his parents, and at that time I had to continue the conversation with him as he did not talk with my cousin's sister well. Luckily, both of us were IT professional. Therefore, we had some points to discuss in that uncomfortable conversation. 

As a common issue that happens to IT guys, he also had dark circles around his eyes. Those were like the eyes of a drunk person. It looks like he did not have enough sleep, and it was my thought. Appearance and his unfriendly behavior were the main reasons for my sisters' rejection. Lol… If both parties could understand that all are strangers to each other, then I think things would change.

However, we could share good impressions with each other in a few meetings, and such situations put the second step. Getting to know each other! Lol...

#blog #blogging #marriage #love #proposals #fun #parents #father #advertisements #mission #mother #newspaper #romantic #secrets #strangers