All of us are humans. Homo Sapiens. Can this species get angry with others? I
know. It is bad. But let's see it as a topic. We will discuss this.
Anger! Anger Management! Getting Angry! etc... In the very first paragraph, I
would like to question you. How about your status? Do you get angry often? Or
seldom? Are you showing it to others, or are you keeping it with you by
shutting up your mouth? Come to this open forum, and let's talk about it. You
are invited!
In my childhood, I cannot remember a day when I got
angry. In that era, my mother was the person who got angry because of us.
Sometimes she could not control her anger. But we did not get angry with her
though we felt sad once she punished us. Those days my sister was the key
reason for me to get angry. But those cannot point as remarkable feelings
because it vanished within a few minutes.
Because of that reason, my father asked both of us
to behave well. Every morning he advised us as so before leaving home for his
job. However, we kept his promise when he was returning home. At the end of the
day, we finished our fights, arguments, punishments, and we were working on our
painting stuff. Both of us laid down on the floor and painted all our arts and
picture books. Therefore, there was a peaceful environment. So, always he came
home and said "Hey, it seems to be you two are good girls today." When
he gives compliments to us, we did not forget to not to look at our mother.
Lol...
Most of the day, at the end of every fight, my
mother said that she has a severe headache because of our endless crazy things
and fights. For such every pain, she used pain killers to get rid of it.
Therefore, "Headache" was the most common illness, we heard at the
end of the day. It was a part of our procedure.
School time went well. We did not
have pressure for anything except exams. However, it did not go with stress,
and I could manage the exam situations without any conflicts on my mind. But
when moving to the last two years of school was a bit different. The exam
pressure was at the maximum level, and staying in a boarding place also a key
reason for that change, I guess. I could say that this time was the beginning
of this topic. So, because of this status, I was angry with some of my friends.
Though I cannot remember the exact reason, it happened for a silly thing. It
was the situation.
However, it did not bring up to higher studies. It
was another joyful era if there were no exams. So, nothing was there to
get angry. Those days one of our lecturers said that "you cannot have a
joyful time like this when you move for your career. Working with people is the
challenge than your work". She said as so when she was angry with us
because of a disciplinary problem of the students. Though it was in my
mind because of the way she told us and her facial expressions, I did not
care about it as usual.
I could say that the job era was the worst period.
I know I gained experience and learned a lot. But the status of the mind that
needs to be kept in without anger/hatred was the thing I could not manage.
There were billions of things to get angry. As she said, people were the main
reason and challenge. Some juniors did not work, and some of them had less
efficiently. Some seniors gave all the benefits to the team members they like.
There were certain conditions for being with them, and it is another topic to
discuss. Some people had attitude issues. Some people are unfair. So, the
working environment was filled up with reasons for getting angry.
So, without control or management, it overwhelmed
my mind. I can remember there was a small computer tool that allows hitting the
screen using a hammer. For each click, you can see fake cracks on your screen.
So, they named it as a tool for anger management. After many clicks, you can
see a weird screen that has many cracks. You cannot see any of your desktop
icons, documents, or any other program until you exit from that program.
However, it was a good tool to forget the anger and focus on something
else.
Counting from 10 to 1 is a well-known technique
that everybody knows. But those days, it did not work for me, and I could say
that tool was a good one up to some extent. With all the cracks of the screen,
I could see the ugliness of my mind. Those cracks showed the spoiled status of
the mind. So, it was a good tool. The other most important thing is when you are angry, it removed all the other thoughts, and anger is the only thing that
you can see. So, those cracks of that tool also revealed the same. You can see
only cracks on the screen. Therefore, it was a good comparison to think about
anger.
I never got a benefit from anger, and I hope it is similar to you too.
It destroyed the peace of mind, and I hope it is similar to you too. It
destroyed our appearance, and that is why our grannies used to say, "don't
get angry. You will be ugly". It damages our inner body. The way how it
happens is another topic. As an example, I can point out my mother's headache
that she had after getting angry for a couple of years. Sometimes, I too have a
pain in my forehead area when being with angry feelings for a certain time.
You know about this situation with your different
experiences. So, that is why Lord Buddha preached these Dhamma as a universal
truth. It does not depend on our religion or nationality. When I was discussing
my situation with one of my friends, then she shared these Dhamma sermons with
me. I listened to it to find out a good solution. If you have the interest to
know more, then you also can listen to these sermons. (You can search the
sermons via Maha Sinha Nadaya Ven Thiththagalle Anandasiri Thero). Acceptance
or rejection is your choice. But you can listen to it. Good things are the
things that hard to do. Anger management also the same! But it is a must for
this rare human life. Anger! It is ugly...
“You will not be punished for your anger; you will be
punished by your anger” (Reference: Internet)
#blog #blogging #anger #dhamma #body #mind #employee #father #mother #exam #headache #job #parents #school
